Untouchable

20

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Isabel Turner

- Do you want something? - I asked breaking the silence between us

- No, I think I should go. - he sighed, and I immediately remembered that Emily must be waiting for him at the hotel. Jealousy moved into my brain and I unstoppably uttered the following words

D- o I have to go to Emily? - I asked as I looked into his eyes again, Charles was so much taller than me...

- So you know about Emily - he nodded slowly

- Why are you with her? I thought you loved me?! - I felt like a little girl, yet I said these words.

- I don't think I owe you an explanation - he said and continued towards the door, but I stubbornly stood in front of him. We got very close to each other, there was 30 cm between us. I smelled his perfume, felt my heart tingle, felt the warmth of Charles' body. I felt the usual tingle in my stomach, and I knew from Charles' sigh that I still had my back to the boy

- I still hate you! - he said, his words stabbing me in the heart again. Then Charles looked me over with his eyes and started looking at my lips. The boy's body language didn't suggest what he said

- But your body can't help your messed up personality - said Charles, I didn't have time to process his words because Charles immediately pushed me against the wall. I wrapped my legs around his waist, while he kissed me fiercely and my whole body started to tingle. He put both his hands on my bottom and then went to the bedroom. I had a feeling of déjà vu while he laid me down on the mattress and took off my t-shirt, then he started kissing me from my neck to my belly. Everything tingled, my heart was beating fast. Before he could reach my skirt, I reached for the boy's t-shirt, before he grabbed my hand, stopping me

- I'm conducting! - he said in a completely different tone than usual, and it wasn't like before, it wasn't such a good feeling. Sex was always our priority, but he didn't want that now. He pulled up my skirt like if i am a whore and unbuckled his pants and broke my heart for good. The process hurt, it hurt. He want to touch me without emotion and he succeeded. I looked tearfully at the boy who was moving above me, it hurt as he was inside me. I knew deep down that he was so insensitive to me, but it was a very painful feeling that he knew how to do this to me. His every move contained the anger and rage and the disappointment and pain he felt because of me. Within minutes, he pulled away from me and while he was taking his pants back, I tearfully looked for my blanket to cover myself, I needed to digest all this. And Charles left me on my bed without saying a word. I went to bed crying and never wanted to turn back time like now. My heart was broken for good and no one could fix it. I never thought that Charles would be able to do this, but he could, he did...

...

I moved. I left my small flat in London. France was quieter than London. Mom and Dad moved to a quiet street and that's exactly what I needed. I hadn't heard from Charles in three weeks, but I was beginning to accept the fact that it had to be. After he did to me what I never thought I would have to go through, I couldn't sleep for a few days. The moment appeared like a nightmare every time I closed my eyes. I lifted the last box from the back of the car when a sharp pain appeared in my lower abdomen. I dropped the box almost immediately, when dad immediately stepped next to me.

- What's wrong? - he asked, and I shook my head because the pain went away immediately.

- Nothing but suddenly the box was heavy

- I'll take it in - he said and pressed a kiss on my forehead. I have never felt such abdominal pain. It freaked me out quite a bit, but I didn't want to be aware of it all.

...

In the morning, mom thought up something for us to do together. That's why she took me to a clothes shop. However, as we walked between the shops, I started to feel nauseous. Of course, I didn't take this lightly either, I didn't eat much in the morning and I didn't like the coffee anymore

- This skirt would look so good on you - Mom showed me the little floral skirt. I suddenly remembered how Charles had pulled my skirt off me without any emotion and a familiar tension appeared in my body. Maybe he hated me, but I hated that moment too. I let him humiliate me, but I was also angry with myself.

- I don't wear so many skirts these days - I said but my Mom looked at me puzzled

- But why? I think you've loved skirts since you were a little girl

- I know, but I don't want another skirt right now

- I don't like something. You have been with us for three days, but you hardly eat anything, yesterday the box fell out of your hand.

- I'm fine mom, don't overcomplicate things

- No, you must be sick! You are so pale now! I know something is wrong. You know that your father and I support you in everything! - said mother and mixed emotions appeared on her face. What does this mean?

- Mom, please believe that I'm fine, I'll eat more today

- Let's drink some lemonade instead - Mom suggested, and I knew she wanted to talk to me rather than shop...

.....

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