Life On Set

Mug brownies

TW: Anxiety Attack

After Lilly left that night, I lay in bed wide awake. Through a crack in the curtains, I can see the warm glow of the moon lighting up the pitch-black sky.  My phone lay undisturbed on the table beside me.

I sat up quietly and had a good look out the window. In the moonlight, I saw the other silent trailers, but I also spotted in the distance that the light of headquarters had been left on. I couldn't spot anyone in there so I chucked on Lizzie's hoodie on the side of my bed and headed out, grabbing my phone as I went. 

Thankfully I was right, there was no one else in HQ, but the heater was on and as I closed the door behind me I felt the warm air blow across my back, embracing me like a warm hug. 

I instinctively move towards the pantry and use my fantastic chef skills to make myself a mug brownie in the microwave. 

As I sit on the couch, mug and phone in hand, I feel my phone vibrating with messages. My heart dropped to my stomach as I saw it was from the family group chat. 

The Three Bears

Mum
Your father and I have been talking, we're both disgusted at how you've been treating us 
Your outright refusal to share your earnings to help us only shows us how we've raised a selfish child you has no respect for the ones who raised her. and put a roof over her head. 

I sighed to myself before sitting upright and typing out a reply, for the moment I just needed to get on their good side and avoid all conflict. It was only a temporary solution but it was all I had until I could confront them face to face. 

Me

I haven't refused to give my money, I just haven't been payed yet

You can have my money when I do

I didn't do anything wrong?

Mum
You don't respond to our messages, if you see them, its respectful to reply

Me
I'm sorry

I shut off my phone and set it down on the table. My elbows take rest on my knees and I let my head fall into my hands, every muscle in my body seemed to collapse at once. I inhale a shaky breath, regaining control before I had the chance to break down. 

I force a smile. Fake it till you make it right? 

"Y/n?"

A voice from behind me caused me to leap to my feet, a loud yell escaping my mouth. At the sight of Scarlett giving me an apologetic smile I relax a bit. 

"Sorry hun, didn't mean to creep in, I couldn't help wondering who on earth would be up at this hour".

This time it was me offering her a weak smile. "Couldn't sleep", I explained before sitting back down. She walked around to the front of the couch, taking in a moment to smirk at the hoodie I was wearing. 

"Everything okay?"
"yeah", I responded, not looking up.

She was quiet for a bit, still standing until I finally met her gaze. Her eyes were brimming with concern, and she looked as though she could see right through me. 

"No", I admit, sheepishly looking away. She held out her arms and I wasted no time in jumping up and flinging myself into her embrace. She wrapped her arms around me and I could feel as her heart beat against mine in sync, as if to say "I'll never let you go". 

All my worries and anxieties about my parents started to melt away as I leaned into her, a feeling of security holding me tightly. the hug lasts for a few more moments before I slowly pull away, I look up and she smiles back at me, letting me know she's on my side. 

My phone buzzed again, and it was as if the protective bubble that surrounded us had popped in a split second. Scarlett must've noticed my change in demeanour because she sat down beside me and leaned back on the couch, rubbing my back comfortingly.

I picked up the phone and reluctantly opened the messages. 

The Three Bears

Mum
We've decided you need to come home, we need to discuss this face to face. 
Your father will get in touch with Cara
I expect we'll see you soon

Me

👍

Tears pricked at my eyes as I reread my mothers message. The idea of going back 'home' made me feel physically sick. They're my parents and it's not like it's the end of the world, I'm just going home. I repeat to myself. 

Suddenly my head started spinning. All rational thoughts started to leave my mind as I kept trying to convince myself I was going to be okay. My breathing started to pick up and I felt the panic set in. I squeezed my eyes shut trying to block everything out.

They'll let you come back, they're not monsters. Calm down. Stop panicking you're going to look stupid. Calm down. Get yourself together people have proper problems. Calm down just please calm down. 

Faintly, as though from a distance I heard Scarlett's worried voice calling my name. 

"Y/N? Y/N you're okay I'm right here. I'm right beside you and I'm not going anywhere". 

I try to quiet my loud brain and focus on her voice but my thoughts are starting to drown me, holding me under until I can't breathe. 

"Y/N open your eyes, follow my breathing. Just do as I am you're gonna be okay". I force my eyes open and copy Scarlett. Slowly my breathing evens out. As Scarlett hands me a drink of water I looked down to hide my embarrassed face. 

"You have nothing to worry about, that happens to the best of us".
She hugs me from the side and I lean back into her, grateful for her being here. 

"They're sending me back home", I admit, fighting back tears that threatened to fall. 
"Don't worry love, I'll make sure you're safe, and I will do everything I can to make sure you come back". 

She kissed the top of my head. "Everythings going to be okay"