Dancing Dusk Till Dawn

1.2

He stares at me nervously and I stare back, just as nervous with my mouth slightly open in shock.

"Walk with me?" I ask finally and he nods, lines of worry appearing on his face.

"What are you thinking about?" He asks a minute later. I pause and take a deep breath, gathering my thoughts.

"I feel like... a part of my soul has loved you since the beginning. The beginning of everything. And I think I've been holding myself back from falling in love with you all over again. But if I'm being honest, to you and myself, I'm still in love with you too and I'm terrified because of it. I'm terrified that I'm going to hurt you again. I can't let myself do that again."

"We can figure it out. I'm willing to try again if you are." He starts and I give him a small smile.

"Let me finish." He nods and stands in front of me nervously as I take another deep breath.

"When you truly love someone you don't stop loving them. Ever. I love being around you. I love when you're happy. I... I love your face. But I also know how much I hurt you and how unwilling you were and are to let me back in. And I completely understand why. It's just all so complicated and I don't know what to do." I say finally as he gently takes my hand in his.

"Then let's work through it together. We made it work before. We can do it again." He says with a small smile as he pauses and turns to face me.

"What are you talking about?" I ask with a small smile on my face.

"Life isn't a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced. And honestly? There isn't anyone I would want to experience it with other than you. Like, if you got hurt... It'd hurt me. And not just cause I'd jump in front of whatever was gonna hurt you. It's because it's you. It's always been you. And I think a little part of me knew that but the rest of me ignored it and that's why I didn't come after you. And after you left, I couldn't stop thinking about you. Because I had fallen in love with my best friend and I missed her so much." He says and I smile fondly at him, having missed his little rambling sessions.

"So, would you do me the utmost honor of being my girlfriend?" He asks and my smile turns into a small frown.

"I would absolutely love to. But I'm not sure it's the best idea. I mean we only just," I emphasize, "got back to how we were before we started dating. I don't know if it would be a good idea."

"I know. But we also made it work before, didn't we?"

"I guess..." I trail off, still thinking.

"You know," he started, "I never realized what a big deal that was. How amazing it is to find someone who wants to hear about all the things that go on in your head. But you made me realize it. The way you made me feel... It could never be replicated by anyone else. You have no idea what you meant and still mean to me. It's you. It's always been you Bella, and I have tried to move on. I'll admit that. It never worked though. I was always trying to get back to you, even if I didn't realize it. I was constantly yearning for something, someone, who wasn't there. I can't keep kissing strangers and pretending it's you. But it is you. Every time I was kissing someone, I imagined it was you. I need you more than you think or know. The way I feel when I'm with you is... indescribable."

"I know exactly what you mean." I say with a small smile.

"So?" He asks quietly, a hopeful look on his face.

"I missed you more than I could bear. We had our time together, and I had to forget you. But I couldn't. I could never forget you, no matter what. I wasn't ready to say goodbye. I'm still not ready. My home is where my heart is and when I'm with you I'm home. So why the fuck not." I smile at him and he kisses me deeply. Once he pulls back I pull him straight into a very tight hug.