Burning desires ~ Here At Last

Part forty one

( Paris' POV )

Despite the shakiness of my blurred sight, the day lit hotel room sprinkled in flashing lights as though I was about to faint, I could still make out the sheer shock, if not disappointment on Starr's face.

"You, you mean you had sex with Pedro? Whilst you were still dating his best friend?" Starr almost whispered, unable to determine any particular feeling in her words.
"It wasn't like that. Me and James, we've not been right for a while. We've been on these breaks and to be honest, it's all just denial that we need to break up all along. I loved him, but he was never my person," I felt a tear roll down my cheek as my gaze fell to the floor.
"And you think Pedro is?" Starr asked, raising an eyebrow confused.
"No. Maybe. I don't know. I think so," I shook my head. What had I done? I ran my hand over my stomach, feeling nothing abnormal as of yet, but knowing his child was in their.
"I love you Paris, I love you so much. But this..this isn't for me to get involved with. I will support you and whatever you chose to do, but I think you need to talk to James and Pedro," Starr scratched her neck with a sigh.
"No, no I can't do that. I'll ruin them, I'll ruin their friendship, and their band, and their careers and then it'll ruin our friendship because you love Ryan who will hate me! This is all one big mistake, I can't go through with this and therefore I don't need to tell anyone," I sobbed, quickly chucking the test in the bin before flopping on the bed with my head in my hands.
"You have so many emotions running through you right now, you cannot jump to these decisions just yet! I'm not going anywhere! Yes I love Ryan, but he can't take me away from our friendship and I don't believe a single bone in his body would ever want that. Have a rest, get some sleep, see how you feel this evening and tomorrow morning and then re-evaluate your options," Starr surprisingly calmly told me.

And before another word was said, the door to the room clicked open. I kept my head firmly against the pillow, not wanting to face whoever it was.
"Is everything alright?!" James asked, almost shock in his voice as he spoke. Oh, if only he knew.
"Yeah, Paris just trying to sleep the sickness off, I better get back to my room and let her rest." I felt Starr gently rub my shoulder, before the bed became lighter and footsteps echoed through to the door. The room remained silent as the handle clicked shut, and I couldn't turn to see him.
"Paris," James almost whispered.
"Mhm," I hummed, hiding the croak in my throat.
"Do you need anything before I go back out? I'm heading to Ryan's room with Zach to play on the PlayStation in there," He sat on the end of the bed.
"No, I'm good thanks," I lied. I needed a miracle to get me out of this situation. But he definitely couldn't provide that.
"Okay, well I'll be just down the hall. If you need anything in the meantime, Pedro and Tommy will be in their room next door," he told me, presumably waiting for a response, but sighing as I failed to present any words, before the door clicked shut once again.

What had I done?