Some days, I can read and write entire stories about abuse. It makes me feel safe in some sick sort of way. A way to process my past fear while knowing I'm safe. Sometimes those stories leave me unbothered. Other times they leave me feeling hollow. Sometimes my brain treats it like every other story, it feels real but I know it's not. I can connect with the characters without ripping myself apart. And other days? All it takes is seeing the word "abuse" to make me feel like I'm dying or for me to start crying. I never know how I'm going to react. Whether I'm detached, empathetic, or triggered is all a guessing game. It's not a fun game, but I keep playing anyway, interacting with things I know I'll never stop thinking about. I just can't seem to stay away. I don't like suffering, but my actions say otherwise. I guess it's because it's the only way I don't feel alone, and that somehow makes it worth it.
***
2/8/2023
BẠN ĐANG ĐỌC
The Knife
Thơ CaShort story poem thing, lol. Idk, 330 words. Literally. I checked. So just read it. If you don't like it... you wasted like 2 minutes. I did mention stabbing someone, so like... If you're into that it's there... *** Okay, so cuz I made this last yea...
