"I'm fine."
Like I'm not ready to put a pistol to my head.
"I'm fine."
Despite the fact I ruined everything
"I'm fine."
Even though everyone is acting normal like nothing fucking happened and I haven't fucked everyone I've ever met over
"I'm fine."
Like I'm not missing half the memories of my life
Memories I thought were filled with bad shit happening to me when really I started everything but can only remember the aftermath
"I'm fine."
As if I haven't been playing the victim my whole life, blaming everyone else for shit I caused and then wondering why everyone was miserable
"I'm fine."
Even though I'm a mental fuck up who never should have been born
Even though the only reason I want school to start is so maybe I'll be brave enough to ask the girl's smoking pot in the bathrooms if maybe I can have some
Like I'm not constantly trying to outrun my thoughts
Like I don't want comfort even though I know I don't deserve it
Like Mom doesn't feel like a shitty parent when it was never her fucking fault
LIKE I'M NOT SICK AND TIRED OF CONSTANTLY SEEING RED BUT NOT BEING ABLE TO FUCKING SAY ANYTHING CUZ I'M SCARED AND I DON'T WANT MY PARENTS BLAMING THEMSELVES
LIKE I'M NOT SHUTTING MY FRIENDS OUT AND HURTING THEM AGAIN
LIKE DAD DIDN'T COME INTO MY ROOM LAST NIGHT AND ASK IF I WAS OKAY AND I SAID "I'M FINE" WHILE CRYING TEARS I NEVER DESERVED TO BE ABLE FUCKING CRY AND HE HELD HELD ME AS I PUSHED HIM AWAY, TELLING HIM MOM NEEDED TO BE CHECKED ON MORE
"I'M FINE!"
"I'M FINE!"
"I'M FINE!"
"I'M FUCKING FINE!"
"I'm fine."
I just need people to believe me.
But why would they?
I've been a liar pretty much since I was born...
***
7/15/2022
ESTÁS LEYENDO
The Knife
PoesíaShort story poem thing, lol. Idk, 330 words. Literally. I checked. So just read it. If you don't like it... you wasted like 2 minutes. I did mention stabbing someone, so like... If you're into that it's there... *** Okay, so cuz I made this last yea...
