The next morning I wake up to the sound of the waves crashing on the shore. The bright sun shining into the the bedroom. I rolled over to avoid the glare and feel an arm pull my waist closer.
The sound of his heartbeat near my ear.
"Tono..."
"Hm" he groaned nuzzling himself more towards me. My eyes fluttered open to see his tattoos and immediately sat up.
"Tonowari" I said "I...oh shoot! I'm late!"
"Late?" He asked confused "oh Ikom right?"
"Yeah. I promised Ikom I'd go fishing with him this morning " I admit and for some reason, a striking feeling of guilt jolted through me.
"No of course. I know" Tonowari tells me "I just..." he pauses for moment getting lost in thought "Nevermind go have fun."
"Are you alright?" I ask. He looked disappointed somehow. "Tonowari"
"Don't worry for me. Just go." He instructs me
Tonowari knew about my feelings for ikom. He's always known and I think only recently it started to bother him. I think he never acted on it but a part of him wish I would lean on him like how I leaned on Ikom.
"Sorry!" I apologized showing up at the beach where Ikom was. "I overslept!"
"Don't be." Ikom smiles looking over at me and attempting to kiss me but I just deflect it "What's wrong?"
"I...I'm sorry..I just..."
Ikom and I were complicated. He understood me like no one could. He's been there through things I couldn't even describe. We both knew our relationship was forbidden but somehow we thought there was a way out of these unspoken shackles.
And yet here I am feeling guilty. But not for Ikom. For Tonowari.
"Bad night?" Ikom asks
"Yeah" I admit pulling my legs up so I can rest my head on my knees.
"Well that's typical you had to deal with Tonowari. He probably just acted like those rich assholes" Ikom went on and on
"Actually..he apologized to me" I corrected "he was..."
I remember him holding me all night, soothing my back. His cold callous fingers on my skin. The way he felt...safe.
"He was really nice" I finish but it seems that Ikom didn't want to hear it. But what other man wants to listen to their love interest talk about someone else.
"It's an act Wren. He's just trying to play mind games with you"
I let out a yawn as we walked through a charity gala event hosted by a neighboring colony.
"Tired?" Tonowari asks me
"A little are you not?"
"Tired to spend time with you? Never" he teases and I feel just a hint of something underlying. But we were also in-front of people so he could be playing it up for the crowd of lookers
"Please." I scoff laughing alittle "You? The man who has a new woman every night"
"You speak like I am a dog out here" he chuckles "and to correct you I don't have any other women"
"You don't have to lie to me Tonowari" I say looking back at him "it won't hurt my feelings"
"Honest" he laughs "I only want you" Tonowari's voice is a bit more stern in that last part. There so much emphasis that I had to stop walking to look up at him. "Just. You."
