Haerin woke up to the pungent smell of hospital disinfect, invading her nostrils. The room was silent apart from her heavy breathing and the beep beep sound you often hear in hospitals that indicates you're alive.
She slowly opened her eyes, squinting in attempt to sharpen the blurred images before her. She glanced around and took in the deserted, blue and white colour schemed hospital bedroom.
How long have I been here?
She shut her eyes, trying to remember what had exactly happened. Then it all hits her with a bang. The memory of it all starts to occupy her thoughts.
She wanted to erase the scene of her mother showing her face and the argument they had which Danielle had to witness
Speaking of Danielle, she's currently sleeping at the side of her hospital's bed, along with their other friends, laying on each other, occupying the long sofa just infront of her bed.
She felt a huge pang of pain in her heart that she had to clutch her chest in hoping that the pain would somehow lessen. The melancholic feeling of them being there for her brings a frown on her lips
Haerin wished there was a way to know how they'd react if she died. She even wondered if she would be forgotten in a week.. a month? or a year. But she hopes they wouldn't be as affected by it.
Her eyes landed on them one-by-one. It began to Danielle who's gripping her hand, to Hanni resting her head on Minji's shoulder who looked exhausted as she supports Hyein on the other shoulder.
Suddenly, a jab of pain squeezed her head, she tried to raise her hand but even her muscles ached whilst she moves. Haerin bit her lip to stifle a groan, she didn't want to wake the others so, she embraced the pain quietly until she got tired.
Tears escaped her feline eyes, and then the door opened. It was Kai. He didn't notice her at first 'cause she was hugging herself while lying on the bed.
Kai puts the plastic bags which contain foods down the table and went near her bed. That's when he noticed.
His sleepy and worn out expression turned into a distraught look, "Haerin.. are you okay? What is it? What do you feel?" He slammed a button on the wall so hard the others woke up from their sleep
She can't say a word. Even crying physically hurts her, everything hurts her, she didn't know it would be this extreme. Her throat was dry and it's as if somebody's stealing all her energy
"Haerin," Danielle worriedly called
Haerin coughed, and everytime she does it's like every bone in her body is breaking. Danielle started crying, "No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry baby, just hold on a little longer," Her grasp went loose
Next thing she knew she was being surrounded by nurses and doctors, while her friends were being pushed out of the room
"Honey, listen to me, what do you feel? Let's put you in a chemo, should we? It's not the best but it'll help," A nurse stated while caressing her hair
Haerin cried out, she coughed repeatedly until blood drips out of her mouth, the doctors tried to convince her many times to go through chemotherapy but she kept refusing
"No," She weakly whispered, "No,"
Hearing Haerin's whimper on the other side of the wall is probably the worst thing Danielle has heard in her entire life, it's torture, she wished it was her instead
Her quiet sobs filled the long corridors of the hospital. The others wants to comfort her but they don't know how they'll even comfort themselves. How would they tell Danielle it would be okay when they know deep down it's not going to be.
It took more than an hour when Haerin's cries died down. Danielle stopped weeping as well but her heart is shattering into million pieces, and it drains her.
She looked defeated.
The door of Haerin's room opened, the Doctor said she will be fine... for now. The symptoms are appearing rather quickly since Haerin refuses chemo.
Danielle entered the room, not letting the Doctor finish his sentence. Her eyes met Haerin's, the girl looks frail and out of life. That triggers her tears once again
Haerin smiled weakly, "H-hey,"
Danielle smiled back and it both broke them. They're just two crushed individuals trying their best to fix each other
"How are you?" Danielle asked, she clasped Haerin's hand and rested her cheek on them while smiling fondly
"Can I ask you a favor?"
"Anything, my love."
"Let's go to the rooftop,"
Danielle immediately nods her head. She don't know if the nurses will let her but before she could ask they gave her a wheel chair.
It took longer to make Haerin sit on the chair since every touch made her sensitive. Bruises began appearing on her skin, Danielle tried so hard not to tear up whenever she sees Haerin wince in pain
The others simply watched them. Hanni is avoiding Haerin's eyes, she couldn't look at her bestfriend. It saddens her.
Danielle began pushing the wheel chair towards the elevator. She pressed the top floor, and glanced at her friends. They nod and mouthed Take your time, we'll be here. She appreciates that.
Once they reached the rooftop, the vast infinite blue sky greeted them, hovering above them looking soft and clear, with dashes of white, coming and going, blending and parting.
Haerin embraces the cold wind passing through her face to her hair. She smiled as she closed her eyes.
The other girl watched in adoration and sadness. As soon as Haerin's eyes opened, it instantly landed on Danielle's, and there was only one thought clouding her mind as she looks at the girl she loves.
"As I look to the sky, I can sense my time coming as well. If it means that I will see you again, I will embrace the end with open arms."
Haerin's eyes crinkled at the edges and the corners of her lips turned upward. She paints a ray of sunshine all over her face, and it was the most genuine and beautiful smile Danielle has ever seen.
YOU ARE READING
hindsight | haerin x danielle | daerin
Fanfiction"How much pain do you have to go through before giving up is okay?"
