Haerin woke up with a throbbing pain on her head. She can feel her veins pulsating out of her skin, it's an exaggeration but that's what she truly feels. She couldn't open her eyes fully 'cause the bright light brings sensitivity to her vision
She noticed how unfamiliar the place is, the smell of disinfectant stands out the most. Haerin already had an idea of where could she be.
"Who are you? What are you doing in her room?"
Haerin heard her mother's voice, however, she didn't bother to open her eyes. What's even the point? She'll only get nagged for it.
"I'm sorry, my name is Danielle. Haerin was alone so I figured I should—"
"I did not ask for your name, you may leave now." Her mother's tone was stern, Danielle finds her intimidating, giving her the chills down her spine
Haerin overheard the door swung open and shut close. She felt her mother's hand move swiftly to hers, and that's when she opened her eyes
"You're awake,"
She simply stared at her mother's face, how long has it been since they last saw each other? Haerin has no idea. Instead of feeling happy by the fact that her mother is there beside her she felt furious for the way she treated Danielle
"Why must you treat other people beneath you like a pest?" She inquired
Her mother scoffed, she faced the other direction and sat on the nearest seat she could see.
"How are you feeling?"
Haerin sat up, even sitting up takes a toll on her energy. She didn't like it. She didn't like how weak this illness brought her
"Don't treat my friends that way, they were there when you couldn't be." She whispered just enough for her mother to hear
"So you knew how to talk back now?" Her mother's eyebrows raised a little, her voice was as cold as an ice, she used to be so scared of her
"I'm simply defending my friends from you," She replied
"I thought Kai was the boyfriend, turns out you like that girl," Her mother laughed like a maniac
Her head whipped back so fast, "W-what are you talking about? Were you spying on me?"
"Oh, I know everything about you my daughter. No need to be so shock,"
Haerin shakes her head, "My daughter huh?" She scoffs in disbelief, "You never call me that, not once. You don't even see me as your child, and losing Taehyun made it worst! Maybe it's good that I contracted the same illness as him,"
Her mother expressed a disapproving look, "Is that what I made you feel all this time? It's sad you had to mention your deceased brother into this, I'm sure he wouldn't want you to get on the same fate as him," Her voice shakes in between the sentence, yet her eyes remained as lifeless as they both are
"I would die fine even if you're not with me, so, why did you have to come here? Only Dad came to my graduation, you weren't there. So why? To see me suffer?" Haerin wiped the tears blurring her vision
"To simply confirm my hunch, you know how I felt about Taehyun liking someone he shouldn't be."
Haerin chuckled sarcastically, "Are you being serious right now? Your daughter is dying! Why does it matter who I like?"
"You can't die putting dirt on our family's name. What you're feeling is not love, my girl. I don't want you seeing her again, she'll be banned from visiting you. This can't get out, our company will be in shambles."
Haerin grits her teeth, "What do you know about love? Is it Dad sleeping on a seperate room since I was 10 or is it you smooching another man's face infront of me, is that what love means for you?"
"The Doctor says you didn't want to undergo chemotherapy, why is that?"
"What for? I'm dying! There is no cure for this!" Haerin yelled, releasing shaky breaths in between
A great sob escaped her mouth, she covered her face with shaking hands as she wailed like a little child. The sound of wailing and suffering echoed throughout the four corners of the room
She didn't know why she's crying.
Is it out of frustrations? Guilt? Fear? Or sadness?
The door swung open, in the doorway Danielle stood firm, she wiped at her eyes but hot tears trickled down anyways
She approached Haerin and engulfed her with a big warm hug, not caring anymore if the girl's mother is a big fat homophobic who doesn't want to see them in the same space together
Her mother went out silently. Not saying a thing. How can a mother act so nonchalant to her own flesh and blood?
"I'm sorry you had to heard that," Haerin whispers quietly, sniffing like she was resisting tears
"I didn't want to leave. I promised to take care of you," Danielle beamed at her, it wasn't the usual sunshine smile she wears everyday. Her smile is so sad, and seeing that hurts Haerin internally
"She never told me she loves me... she always showers Taehyun with that word.. but I never heard her say it to me once," Haerin bit her lower quivering lower lip. "I actually thought we'll spend more time together now that I barely have a year left yet,"
"Don't say that." Danielle stated in a painful tone, "I love you,"
Haerin shuts her eyes tightly. She smiled, a slight symmetric smile with an expression of deep sadness pasted over the top of her curved lips.
Then she whispered, "I'm happy you were the first person to tell me that,"
Haerin's eyelids became heavy. Perhaps, it was because of all the negative things that has been happening lately, but for some reason, she was unusually tired.
Her vision blurries. She felt her body sink back to the bed while Danielle remained seated beside her. Sweat trickled down her forehead, the older female had to wipe it with the hem of her shirt
Was it the bright lights of the room? Haerin couldn't keep her eyes open. She tried to speak but no words came out
I'll close my eyes for awhile, Dani.
Maybe she was too tired. Drowsiness washed over her. She felt her conciousness slipping. The sound of Danielle's audible sobs grew further away
Danielle wished she could stop time. Yes, as long as she live, she will love to the fullest.
Her hand ran gently through Haerin's hair, the latter looks like an angel sleeping.
With a hoarse voice, Danielle says, "Let's live in the moment. As long as I give my all right now, it'll be okay." She smiled to herself.
Almost as if she's reassuring herself with something she knew would ruin her for the rest of her life
YOU ARE READING
hindsight | haerin x danielle | daerin
Fanfiction"How much pain do you have to go through before giving up is okay?"
