Misery Speaking

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ART CREDS!!: https://twiman.net/user/s/2387016318/illust
Yes this art would've fit the previous chapter more, but I found this just after I finished with the last one 💔
This episode will be angst-comfort
TW/CW: SH, homophobia/bullying, firearms and things of such nature

Rui POV

I took a few deep breaths on the concrete floor of an alley behind the school. My nose was bleeding as well as my temples. I felt so nauseated, and I could barely keep my eyes open.

"Fucking weirdo. You gross me out!" A girl sneered at me.

"I don't know what you thought you were doing, asking out a guy. That's just plain disgusting." A male student grimaced.

My lip started quivering and salty tears rushed down my face.

"I'm sorry.." I meekly spoke.

The tall girl began laughing hysterically. "Hahaha! Are you serious right now? Get over it, crybaby. Don't be so upset that we're saving you from being an absolute freak of nature."

To the left of me on the ground was my bag. They had ripped out my notebook and burned my notes and drawings. They even went as far to spilling cartons of milk in my whole bag, and one on my head.

I'm sorry Tsukasa. I didn't mean to be a creep to you.. am I gross to you? I weakly stretched my arm out to the boy, pleading for him to give back my phone.

"Heh, you want this?" He asked and I nodded aggressively. He snickered and dropped it onto the floor and stomped on it a couple times, cracking the screen. "Come on, he'll be content here by himself."

The couple ran away, leaving me to bleed out. Frantically I crawled closer to my phone, praying that it'd work.

It works.

~~
A week later
~~

Laying on my bed, I pulled out a sharp blade and a gun from my nightstand.

I held the handknife with my left hand and raised it up to my forearms. There were already scars scattered across both arms. I had become accustomed to doing this, because I thought I deserved it.

I ruined Tsukasa's life. He never wanted to be with me, right? I slid the knife across my arm with a few rough movements.

If I were to kill myself, everyone would he happier. Nobody would be disgusted by me anymore.

I gripped the gun holster tightly. I have to. My mind continued racing with each passing second. I swallowed nervously and raised the gun up to my head. My hands shook intensely, but I was stopped.

My phone rang.

I let out a heavy breath and threw the gun onto the ground. Of course it was Tsukasa calling, as I didn't have anyone else that I communicated with.

Relieved, I immediately stumbled to answer the phone.

"Rui, oh my god! Are you okay? You haven't been responding to anyone."

"Tsukasa... I'm sorry! I need you so bad right now." I sobbed into the phone, desperately wanting for a response.

"I know, I know. I'm almost to your place, will you please hang on for just two more minutes? I'll stay on the phone with you."

I placed my knife back on my nightstand and layed down on my bed, letting my cries be heard by Tsukasa.

During the time, he spoke short sentences of validation and reassurance for me. My eyes tightly shut and I waited for him to get here.

"I'm here. I'll be coming up, okay?"

"Yeah, thank you."

I heard him climbing the stairs and hurrying through the hallway.

As soon as he reached my room, he slammed it open and rushed over towards me. "Fuck, Rui.. your state is horrible.. tell me, what's wrong, Sweetheart?" Tsukasa's soft hands rubbed up and down my back and thighs.

"Um.." Before I got any words out, I started to cry again. "D-Do you love me?" I glimpsed at him.

"Of course I've you. You're the smartest, kindest, and strongest person I've ever met!" His voice seeped through my ears, warming up my heart.

"I love you too. Honestly, uh, I was going to.. off myself last month as well. I'm only still going because of you." I admitted.

The blond gave an understanding smile. "And you're doing such a good job by still going. Please don't give up, I promise I'll stay with you forever." He pulled me in for a deep hug. I wept onto his shoulder.

The only thing that I could think of was how amazing Tsukasa was and how much I loved him, I knew he'd be with me forever, whether he stays as my lover or just as a friend.

"Is therapy okay?" He whispered.

"What do you mean..?"

"I want to know if you'd be happy with me getting you a therapist."

I suppose I can't rely on him forever, huh. I appreciated his efforts and support. "Yeah, that would be really nice, actually."

"Just know that I'm proud of you, and I won't ever leave your side."

♡~♡~♡~♡

Uh oh my thing is broke again and it shows that all of my posts were made yesterday so I apologize if this is late, and if it's early oh well.

Wow uh I don't ever write angst like this but I just felt the need to ig
I have lots of fluff chapters prepared for you as usual, but the next 2 chapters will be angst (unless my plans change)

Anyways, tysm for reading! 💖


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