An Unfamiliar Feeling

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ART CREDS!! https://www.deviantart.com/rentsu10/art/Ruikasa-923501198
Interior monologue looks like this in flashbacks!
EDIT: my dumbass forgot to add the art for the cover IM SO SORRY
This episode will be fluff
TW/CW(?): Self doubting

Tsukasa POV

I curled up in a ball on my bed, almost spilling tears from my eyes as I thought about Rui. It had been so long since I last experienced someone who loved me, and feeling it again just seems so foreign.

How do I know if he really loves me? What if he's just leading me on, or just loves me temporarily? I feel like he'll end up leaving me just like everyone else.

The boy that I was thinking about was sitting up with a laptop on his lap, working on some, whatever he was doing. I didn't want to pester him, but I want to know what Rui had to say.

"Do you really love me?" I asked, hugging his thigh as if it were a pillow.

"Yes, of course I do! Why are you asking me this?" He glimpsed down at me from his screen, sharing a concerned expression.

"Sometimes I just get the feeling that the people who love me are just faking, or will grow out of it eventually. Do you umm.. ever get thoughts like that?" I confessed.

"Well, I do suppose that it's natural for some, but I want you to know how much I truly do love you. A thought about leaving you has never crossed my mind." He pet my head in slow back and forth motions, reassuring me soothingly.

I thought about how earnest Rui always has been with his word. He's never lied to me about anything. Sure, sometimes his words can be deceiving, but he never would simply lie to me like that. He was so sweet and caring, and I nearly fell asleep with just the feeling of his cool hands brushing through my hair.

I held onto his leg tighter. "Rui?"

"What's the matter?" He hummed, still petting me.

"I appreciate you. Thank you for always being here, and being so honest with me." I smiled and closed my eyes contently.

"In my eyes, it's the bare minimum that I could do. My past couple relationships ended too soon, and I got to learn from them. Now I can promise you that I'll take as much care of you as I can."

I listened to his soft voice, burying my head into his warmth even more. The typing heard from just above me was also very satisfying to listen to. I thought about what he said to me the day before when we hung out with Emu and Nene, hoping to be able to do things like that again.

Flashback (my favs)

I held Rui's hand tightly as we walked alongside our best friends.

"Ooh! Can we pleaasee go on that ride!?" Emu squealed, pointing towards an extra tall rollercoaster. I watched the movement and saw how fast it moved.

"Eh, are you sure that's the ride you want to go on? W-Why don't we eat first?" I groaned.

Nene laughed at me. "Are you actually that scared right now? It doesn't even look that bad, dude."

I scoffed at her and crossed my arms. "Hmph! At least I have a sense of-"

"Just shut up already. Come on, let's just leave Tsukasa here." She waved to Rui and Emu to follow her.

"Now, now, we can't simply leave him here. You two need to get along." He reasoned and gave me a small kiss on my cheek.

Did he just kiss me? In public? I doubt my last boyfriend would do that.. I'm surprised that Rui isn't ashamed of me like everyone else is. I smiled contently.

"Tsukasa, I'll gladly come with you to get a snack or a drink if you'd like." He offered.

Nene grimaced at the scene and Emu gave a knowing giggle. "You guys are weird. Whatever, you're missing out. I'll go with Emu on the ride."

Emu nodded vigorously and gave a thrilled shriek. "Yes!! We'll tell you how it goes!☆☆" She hopped around and took Nene by the hand, dragging her away.

After they left, I felt guilty. Just because I didn't want to go, Rui felt the need to stay behind with me.

"Sorry.." I frowned and followed Rui as he walked us to the drink and snack bar.

"Please don't be sorry. I really don't mind that we didn't go, I'm tired anyways."

I held onto his arm tightly and blinked back my tears. He's always good to me.

Flashback END

There was a silence between the two of us for a while. Just knowing that someone like Rui, someone who cares about me, was right next to me was a sensation that I never wanted to lose.

In my mind, I thought about how I got so lucky. Not only did I have an attractive boyfriend, I also had one that was so caring and gentle with everything (almost everything) that he did.

"Tsukasa, you awake?" He spoke quietly. I hummed in response, confirming that I was still awake.

He took a moment before continuing what he was going to say.

"I love you."

♡~♡~♡~♡

Kiss kiss fall in love

Um YES I KEEP WRITING THEM WITH ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS IK!! I just suck at writing ship fics that aren't already relationships 😭

Also no, I still don't proofread

And sorry angst lovers, I actually suck at writing angst because I always cry. I'll TRY to add different kinds of subjects rather than aimless fluff but it's my favorite so expect much more of it 💖
Anyways, tysm for reading! 💖

(Happy holidays!)

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