I. Heart Of Gold (Uneditied) ✔️ ORIGINAL

Fourteen - Panicked Overthinking

Emmi's POV:

A few weeks had past and it was finally the day before Thanksgiving. I still had no idea where Brooks and I were going for that holiday, but I didn't care anymore. As long as I could talk to Maddox and my girls, I'd be fine. Yes, my girls now included Jamie. She needed a girl pack to roll with, so we adopted her into ours.

It was a half day for all schools and I didn't have to worry about Brooks, since he was going to his friends house for a play date. I was hoping to hang out with my girls, but they were all busy with other things, which meant I was home alone until mom got home.

I headed to my locker after English and saw Nichole standing by it, talking with Maddox. "Morning, you two." I smiled, acting as if I didn't see Maddox when he picked me up. My hand went to the necklace he had gotten me that I hid under my clothes with a smile.

"Morning," Nichole grinned and winked at me.

I raised my brow as she left and looked at Maddox, "What was that about?" I asked as I grabbed my backpack, putting all my stuff I'd need for homework in it.

He shrugged, "Don't know." He rested his arm on the top of my locker door. "You ready? I would like to take you to lunch and then maybe the park?"

I looked at him suspiciously, "This isn't a date, right? Cuz..." I trailed off.

He chuckled, "Do you want it to be? Cuz um...I didn't think we agreed to any of that."

I shook my head, "We didn't. I know my feelings are still all over the place and I don't want to jump back into anything yet." I looked down sheepishly.

Maddox lifted my chin gently, "There is no reason to jump into anything, Em. Just being friends with you is all I need." He smiled and I felt my heart speed up, but also break a little. I still really wasn't sure if I actually liked him or the fact he was being so kind to me. I mean at state, he surprised me, he got me a beautiful necklace, he stood up for me and he drove me home. So thanks to that, my feelings were even more jumbled than before!  I guess he could see it on my face, because he took my hand in his other hand with a smile, "Emmi, relax. If you're uncomfortable with keeping our little secret, we can stop. Just be friends and none of the other thing."

I shook my head frantically, "No!" I blurted out. My eyes scanned around to see if anyone was looking, but no one was around. I felt my cheeks heat up and I picked at the bottom of my shirt, "I like the other thing..."

I felt Maddox's lips touch my cheek and a spark surged through me. "Good, cuz I do too." He whispered in my ear. My cheeks flushed in embarrassment as I heard him chuckle softly, "You are too cute when you're embarrassed, Emmi."

I pouted, "Shush." I stuck my tongue out and shut my locker. "I'm all ready to go. Where did you have in mind for lunch?"

"I was thinking the little diner, Honey's Diner, on Main Street in a few towns over. What do you think?" He asked as we headed to his car.

"I've never been there. Sounds yummy." I smiled. Maddox opened the door for me and I looked at him confused. "You sure this isn't a date?"

He chuckled, "I'm just being a gentleman. But like I said before, if you want to pretend this is a date, I can make it one." He winked.

I gulped and pulled my legs in as he closed the door. Do I want it to be a date? Should this be a date? Would I ruin Maddox's reputation if we did make this a pretend date? Does he feel obligated to be nice to me? To care about me? I don't want him to feel like he has to do this. Thoughts ran through my head and I felt terrible and guilty that he had been so kind to me over the past few weeks. I know he had told me he cares, but was he just saying that to make me feel better? Was he using me like Zachariah was, just in a different way?

I felt my chest tighten and my breaths shorten. I clutched my sweatshirt and put my hand on the dashboard for support. I didn't even notice Maddox get in on the other side until he turned me to him. I couldn't hear words, just saw his mouth moving. I saw fear and worry in his eyes as my vision grew blurry. I've never had a panic attack this bad before.

It felt like hours, but it was only a few minutes until my attack passed. "Emmi?" I heard Maddox ask softly. I looked over expecting to see the bad boy, but I saw Zach sitting there instead. He had my phone and was talking to someone, but I wasn't sure who. Jamie maybe? He put a hand on my shoulder and I backed in the corner of the seat subconsciously. My mind was playing tricks on me.

"Don't touch me!" I cried. I unbuckled myself and grasped for the handle to leave, but I couldn't find it. "I'm sorry! It wasn't my fault! Please!" Tears threatened to fall as I begged.

I heard my name being yelled, but I didn't know where it was coming from. It sounded like Nikki's voice. My eyes went from Zach to the phone and I grasped for it. He kept pulling it away and when I finally got a hold of my phone, I saw who was truly in front of me. "M--Maddox..." I breathed.