Vows of Misfortune

37.

"You were paid to steal and hurt? Like—like a gang member?" I whispered, horrified at the next words that were itching to stay reserved.

His hand clasped the fist of the other, knuckles turning pale white. The ice cream was beginning to melt but the tension in the air was as solid as ice.

"I'm not proud of it," he grumbled, "but yeah. After losing my parents, my life spiralled. The bullying only got worse."

"You were bullied? For what?"

"For being half-Indian. For looking different. I was never Indian enough. Never Polish enough. So I hung out with the wrong crowd and got into a lot of shit I wished I hadn't. Shit that if I tell you you would never forgive me for."

"My uncle and my sister hated what I did and wanted me to stop, but it paid well. I was doing it for myself at first, to prove my worth but then the money was getting better and I wanted to give them a better life. And then the accident happened." His forehead creased as if he was trying not to think about the flashback.

"What happened?" I whispered.

He hesitated. "My sister died. My uncle became stuck in a wheelchair because I had gotten unwanted attention. A task went wrong and...they bore the brunt of my selfishness whereas I only got away with a fucked up leg. When we moved, tried to get away, I vowed to stop. I promised Jose uncle I'd change."

Now it all made sense. His leg, why his uncle wanted him to get married, how he knew how to fight and how he was swift in attacking those men, why he was so...closed off and guarded. Too guarded, like he was controlling himself, like a kettle with a tight lid despite the steam shaking inside.

The way he got mad at me and burst like I had never seen before. There was anger festering beneath him. Anger and guilt and regret all built up to make Romir the person he was today.

"And what about your ex girlfriend?" I asked, after finally finding my voice. "Was she a part of your gang, too?"

"I didn't meet her until I moved to another city. She was the first woman I'd ever been romantically interested in. The first woman I felt I could be normal with. To have a normal life with."

Only for her to take it away from him. My chest tightened. I had done nothing but judge him from the beginning, but now that I knew why he was the way he was, I couldn't help but want to hug him and stay like that.

There was so much that I didn't know. So much unsaid things that I didn't know I even wanted to know anymore. It was a life I didn't know he had much alone knew existed. It was completely different to my own.

Since he was sharing, maybe it was my turn to finally get it off my chest. "My sister and your girlfriend are the same, in essence," I said with a bitter laugh. "Ever since her ex-boyfriend died, she took it out on me. She hated me because I didn't like him and neither did my parents; she had it out for us afterward. My parents had her moved to India and she cut off all contact with us.

"Then all of a sudden, two years later, she began to speak to us. I didn't, of course. I was still mad. My parents wanted her to get an arranged marriage and at first she didn't want to and even threatened to kill herself. So my parents let it go. But then when she found out that the guy she was being arranged to was a family friend here in London, a rich plastic surgeon, she was suddenly okay with it. It wasn't until I caught her crying on the day of her wedding that she finally told me that she'd lied and that she had a boyfriend.

She did the same thing to him that she had done to us, leaving everyone else to fix the damage that she'd caused. So I decided to cut off all contact with her."