The man next door || Hyunlix

Tiptoe

"And for him, he will have the same thing as me." Hyunjin says.

"Alright." She says cheerfully. "Everything will be ready shortly, call me if you need me." She smiles, before walking away.

"Anyways." Hyunjin says, thinking Felix might not want to talk about it. "I'm going to be honest," He suddenly starts. "I have no idea what I just ordered." He chuckles.

"Oh god." Felix says.

"But anyways," he says again. "Cheers?" He picks up the glass of wine, raising it to Felix.

Felix smiles softly, picking up his glass as well. He clinks his with Hyunjin's, and they both take a sip afterwards. The wine is kind of sweet, but also a little tart, considering it is red wine. It's kind of creamy as well, which is a new sensation to Felix.

"So," Felix starts. "What should we go on about today?" He puts his hands in his lap, linking them together.

"Whatever you'd like." Hyunjin says.

"Okay." Felix says simply, thinking. "Do you donate to charities?"

"I do." Hyunjin says. "I've been donating to a domestic violence related one for the last couple of years. Along with many wildlife and world hunger ones. What about you?"

"I've been donating to a women's charity every since my mother died." Felix says. "I was very young when me and my father started doing so together." He smiles, remembering the good days.

"That's a good story." Hyunjin smiles. "Have you guys always lived here?"

"Oh no." Felix shakes his head. "I'm originally from Australia, I moved here to be with my grandparents when my mother passed.." he pauses. "It's seems everything changed when my mother passed, I guess."

"Did you change?" Hyunjin asks. "That's probably weird to ask.. never mind."

Felix chuckles. "No it's okay, if you want to know you can ask. Yet no, I don't think I changed that much. As much as I hate to admit it, I can't really remember things from back then. Sometimes.. it's hard to even remember my mom."

"Does that scare you?" Hyunjin asks, titling his head. "The thought of forgetting somebody so important?"

"To be honest, It doesn't scare me." Felix says. "If I were to forget her, which I don't think I ever fully will, I don't know if it would even effect me. I was so young, I didn't even know her fully. I was a child who didn't know I was going to lose my mom, so I didn't think much about anything. I hope that doesn't sound harsh."

"No I understand completely." Hyunjin says. "You'll never forget her, that's impossible. However, you don't have to remember her everyday.. you know?"

"I.. guess?" Felix tilts his head. "I don't know.. I just get told I am a freak for not remembering my mother."

"You're not a freak." Hyunjin says. "I can't even believe people could say that."

"I don't know, people just.." He pauses, sighing. "I don't know."

"If it makes you feel any better," Hyunjin starts. "I wish I could forget my mother."

Felix looks up at him, a confused expression. He feels himself wanting to start crying with the look Hyunjin is giving him. He is looking at him with damaged eyes, eyes that speak stories he doesn't want to hear.

Felix takes a deep breath, shaking his head. "Mm, how about we talk about you for once?" He asks.

"Me?" Hyunjin raises a brow. "Well, what would you like to know?" He says, crossing his legs underneath the table.

"Here's a simple one, what do you do for work?" He asks.

"I'm a business man." He says. He pauses for a minute, squinting his eyes and titling his head. "Well.. I'm actually a Nepo-baby. It's my parents business I run." He admits, a little ashamed of his own truth.

"Well that's not so bad. I wouldn't feel ashamed it was probably meant to be." Felix says. "However I was expecting you to say a designer or something, not going to lie." He chuckles a little bit.

"Why is that?" Hyunjin chuckles.

"I don't know, you just have a certain vibe." Felix says. "Like your fashion sense, and your home especially. It all kind of just screams designer." He reasons.

"That's kinda funny, actually." Hyunjin says. "I always loved design. If I didn't have to follow in my parents footsteps, I would have been an interior designer. I like to paint, as well. I've always just been a bit more artistic than the average person, I guess you can say."

"I knew it." Felix says, smiling.

"You know me so well." Hyunjin jokes, taking another sip of wine.

Felix chuckles. "Well anyways, tell me more about you're parents. What was your childhood like?"

Hyunjin's face kinda falters, which makes Felix think he might have asked the wrong question. He makes an apologetic face, about to brush it off.

"Oh no, it's okay." Hyunjin chuckles. "My parents are.. my childhood was okay." He says finally. "I mean, I grew up with a pretty good life. I had everything I ever needed, and some things I didn't even need." He says.

"But the thing is, when I decided I should speak to somebody about my experiences.." He pauses. "They all started to apologize. Everyone always cried when I talked about my mom and dad, about my childhood."

"Hmm?" Felix tilts his head.

"I didn't realize how much emotional trauma I suppressed from my childhood until I started to talk about it." He says, focusing his eyes on his glass as he fiddles with it.

"I realized that all my life I have tiptoed around my parents emotions. I didn't get hit, I didn't grow up bruised and beat a lot— but I did grow up learning how to read people like books and how lie to people. I had to memorize every facial expression and what they meant, I had to learn what to talk about and what not too, I had to come up with excuses right off the bat for something I was getting blamed for— even if I didn't do it, I had to memorize different footsteps, and anytime my parents came near me I got the chills. I had to learn so much at such a young age to stay safe." He says.

"That's not at all what somebody should live like. Especially not a child." Felix says. "I am so sorry, and I know you heard that so many times from so many people but I need to say it too."

Hyunjin chuckles. "It's okay."

"Do you think what you've gone through has made you stronger?" Felix asks.

"Even if it did, I don't care." Hyunjin says. "I was a child. I didn't need to become stronger, I just wanted to watch my cartoons. I needed to be safe. Quite frankly, I can't even really remember my childhood. I don't even think I had one."