How the Mighty Fall

Chapter 38

Chapter 38

Astraea had tried to enjoy the three-block walk from a job interview back to the apartment but wasn't appreciative of the commotion. Instead of distracting, it mirrored the chaos in her head.

As he often tended to be, Phrixus was shoulders-deep in the fridge when she pushed the front door open. But the music playing from the speakers stood out from his typical taste. She noticed the slightest shift in pattern and it lingered despite trying to brush it away.

Her steps were tentative as the door shut behind her. "Hey."

He leaned back, his neck bent awkwardly to see her on the other side of the refrigerator door. "Hey! How did it go?"

"They said they would let me know by the end of the week, but I'm not getting my hopes up." She kicked off her shoes and bent to pick them up. When she straightened, Phrixus was still looking at her. "What's up?"

"Just making lunch. Don't tell me you're not hungry, because I know you opt to not eat whenever you can get away with it. It's almost done if you want to get settled."

She nodded although he had already turned back to what he was doing. Her heels skimmed the floor as she walked into her room, then stopped altogether when she saw the space neater than she left it. Her hands shook as she rushed to change out of her formal wear.

"My room..." The words fled her lips as soon as Phrixus was in her sight again. There was no train of thought for what she saw and how to respond to it.

He was standing on the other side of the counter in the kitchen, holding a bowl. A smile broke out on his face and he stopped what he was doing to look at her. "I made room for more of your stuff, and what doesn't fit right now is in storage. It made sense with us starting over. What do you think?"

They were starting over. "Yeah, I really appreciate it. Thank you."

A frown scored his mouth. "I know I haven't been the most welcoming. But talking about that would crack open everything else. Is it alright if we don't talk about it?"

"Agreed." She nodded again. When he turned back to the food, she shook her head like it would reboot her internal system. It didn't feel right, but if she was asked the last time she was content with her situation, she wouldn't have an answer. She pulled out a chair but froze in place instead of sitting. "We're going to talk about it, aren't we?"

"Yeah," he grimaced, "but not before eating. Here." He set a plate down from the other side of the chair she still had a hand on but even with only a foot between them he kept his eyes on his movements. He surprised her when he didn't sit down and immediately shovel food into his mouth but stood on the other side of her chair. "Cooking was something you did with Sandra, wasn't it? It reminds you of her."

She nodded. They sat at the same time.

Phrixus cleared his throat. "That's how it was for my mom and I too. She had me helping her in the kitchen as soon as I was tall enough to reach the counter. Cooking actually kind of became a family thing." He stabbed at the pasta with his fork. She watched his chest rise and fall with a deep sigh.

She would have preferred to stay silent, but it wasn't comfortable between them in the moment and the irritating scratching of utensils against plates was not a tolerable filler. "Has the treatment at work changed?"

His eyebrows rose. "Oh it completely flipped. I wasn't certain it would work, but I was also hoping they weren't so easy to figure out."

"What matters is you found a viable solution."

"That doesn't make it easier to swallow."

"My vote is to take the win."

He shrugged.

"Have you thought about your mom knowing your secret?"

Phrixus put down his fork. "Please don't remind me. I have already spiraled about it once. It also makes me question whether she told my dad, but it's way too invasive to read her journals and I can't ask my cousin to snoop or ask him outright."

"Are you just going to let it be then?" She bit her tongue on what else she wanted to say, which was that it would be a good time to face now since they were entering a lull in celestial activity. Among other things, it was likely to come back later.

Instead of responding, Phrixus got up from his seat, stacked their cups, and grabbed their plates. When he came back to the table from dropping the dishes in the sink, his eyes were smouldering. He sat across from her again.

Astraea was tracing the tabletop's lines and grooves with her index finger.

"Do you want me to say that I want you to stay?"

She looked up at his arms folded over his chest, then back down at her hand. "I don't know. I feel like I've invaded your space since the mutation came out, and to me it still feels too soon to be comfortable."

"We'll come back to that. I think we should talk about the prophecy."

Her finger stopped, still touching the table. "I agree that we shouldn't sacrifice ourselves."

"That means we have to keep running. You said you're tired of that. You said it more than once. An offhand statement saying otherwise now won't just override those feelings. "

She shrugged. "Sometimes I am. Tired of it, tired of everything. I don't know. A lot has changed since I accidentally killed someone. While intoxicated no less."

"You were protecting Serena. But that's not the point here. You have to say that you think you can keep doing this. It doesn't matter that I know you can if you decide you won't. So what will it be?"

Her eyes flitted between his. "No sacrificing," Astaea nodded, then cast her gaze down again. "I can learn how to run."

He smiled. "Good."

"Alright," she pushed herself up by bracing her hands on the table. "Wait. What did you say would happen if we didn't contain the darkness? Do you know what happens?"

"You don't survive."

"But what does that mean? How would you know that?"

"It's a long story. Will you take my word for it?"

"No!" She smacked the table. "How hard is it to say something like 'with too much power, it consumes your soul until there's nothing left for you to recover from and fills the hollow shell of the body that was once yours'? Tell me it possesses me only enough that it takes control but I'm left to helplessly witness every agonizing involuntary movement. Give me a whole, legitimate answer for once."

The spark was fanned into a flame. It was his turn to bristle and fire back, "What do you want me to say? I don't know what happens, but none of it is worth losing you!"