How the Mighty Fall

Chapter 32

Chapter 32

"Hey Ash, are you awake?" Serena's whisper filled the room, the volume not quite matching the rustling of her shifting on the couch.

Astraea had been slipping in and out of sleep with overwhelmingly disrupted rest. The prophecy and its visions were pop-up reminders that took place of her nightly overthinking, a pattern she never thought she would miss. She sighed.

"Ash?"

"What's up?"

"I'm sorry," Serena yawned. "Can I ask you something?"

She nodded to a pitch black living room. "Mhmm."

"Did you and Phrixus make up?" It came out muddled and strung together. She could conceivably pretend she didn't hear it correctly.

"I think there's something bigger on your mind to be losing sleep over." While she didn't want to subject herself to nightmares, she was sure nothing good would happen if she stayed awake. Her grip on the internal darkness was slipping, which made her grateful for Phrixus suggesting training in the morning. She had to look forward.

Serena sighed. "Did you have a rough childhood too?"

It was a dreaded question from the vault, in the company of topics like work experience, credit history, and the ever elusive legal records. All loosely related origin ties were bunched together and locked up. She wouldn't access them drunk, or else borderline delusional from sleep deprivation after midnight.

Her own words were slurred. "'Twas alright." That's what she told herself, that it could have been worse. Because it could have been.

"Did you know that," a yawn broke her question, "having five fingers on each hand is actually a recessive gene, and not a dominant one?" Serena mimicked an explosion, to which Astraea pictured included the visual of her fingertips shooting away from her head. Serena continued. "Sleep over. Sleep. Over. Sleepover. I never really had a sleepover. This would be my first, if it counts. That's funny."

The same was true for Astraea in the conventional sense, but it was the kind of information she didn't offer. "That can't be true." She neglected to ask if their family had those gatherings or reunions where they'd drink too much and spend an impromptu night at the host's house when the party outgrew their limits. It seemed like an occasional normal phenomenon as a result of a successful summer family barbecue. That was the impression she got from their family.

"Ah, well, I guess it's not. But I don't know how many sleepovers are supposed to make you feel bad about yourself and make you cry."

Shit. "Let's do sleepover stuff tomorrow night. I mean tonight."

Serena yawned for a third time. "That would be nice."

When nothing more was said, Astraea turned onto her side and clutched a throw pillow to her chest. She listened as Serena's breathing changed slightly, steadily slowing into rhythm and no longer seeded with yawns.

A couple more minutes went by before she felt comfortable enough to get up and head to the bathroom.

She didn't completely shut the door behind her. There was no intention to actually use the bathroom in this instance. Her gaze never lifted above the countertop. The lights were on but she closed her eyes, pressed her back to the wall, and slid to the floor. She tilted her chin up and let her head hit the wall. If she opened her eyes, she wouldn't be able to stop the tears bubbling up.

Would she beg Phrixus for a real second chance, knowing nothing would be erased or restarted? He already consented to and approved of facing it all head on. It sounded solid enough. But it felt forced to her. She was still questioning everything. Now she was back in the bathroom where she often fell apart.