𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐀 𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐒 - 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆

15 | seeing stars

*Now Playing - Pink in
the Night by Mitski*

I walk out of my room and walk to the door. Chan and his friends laughed loudly in his room, probably why they don't hear someone knocking on the door.

"I'm coming!" I said irritably. Opening the door to see who it was "If your here to fuck my brother, his friends are here so you're out of luck"

Felix rolled his eyes "I'm not here for him and you know that"

"Yeah, but it sounded funny so I said it"

"Can we talk?"

I nod and let him in, walking back to my room. I sit on my bed and watch him close the door behind him, waddling his way nervously to my bed.

"What do you want?"

"I don't want you to be mad at me or Hyunjin"

I shrug "If Hyunjin wanted to apologize, he should be here with you"

"He can't, his mom wanted him to help with the boat"

"No excuses"

Felix sighed loudly "Stop being stubborn Jisung, you can't stay mad at us-we are your best friends since we were little"

"It's never late to drop a friend or two"

Felix smiles "Yeah but I heard it's harder to make friends the older you get"

I groan and fall back, staring at the ceiling I said "Shit, I'm fuck"

I hear Felix laugh "We'll never leave you Jisung" I sit back up and look at him. "And I'm sorry for keeping it from you"

"Which part, you seeing my brother or knowing that my ex was cheating on me?"

"Both" Felix says, "It was after your birthday party, I saw him with some girl in the back of his car"

"My fucking birthday party?" I shouted in shock, "That was three months ago!"

Felix scratched his neck "Yeah, you were having such a good time and I didn't want to ruin it" I look down, it was a good time. "I found Hyunjin that night and he wanted to tell you right away but I told him that we should wait, I didn't want to ruin that night for you"

I look up "But why didn't tell me the next day?" I felt disgusted remembering that, how Dylan touched me probably after he had sex with someone else.

"I didn't want to hurt you. The longer I didn't tell you, the more I couldn't tell you" Felix says and I frown "He never deserved you, and I'm sorry for practically telling everyone that Dylan was shit to you"

I shrug "It's fine, I could care less what they think of him"

"So, are you gonna drop us as friends?"

I chuckle and shake my head, hugging the boy as we both laugh. "Never. Y'all are stuck with me for life"

-

"Hey," I said, sitting next to the boy.

He looks at me and gives me a small smile "If your mom knew you were sneaking out for me, she'd hate me"

I chuckle and bump his shoulder with mine "She'd never hate you"

He smiles and looks back to the water. Minho had texted me to meet him at the cliff and I agreed. It was late at night so I did have to sneak out of the house as my mom didn't like us running around in the late hours of the night.

"Is this our place now?" He asks, looking at me "My Mistress" He adds and I chuckle, rolling my eyes.

"Your the one that keeps inviting me here"

"I heard that if a place has bad memories, you make new-better ones to replace the bad"

I look at him and hum, looking away "And is this ours?" The sound of the waves crashing is heard as the cool breeze blew softly. "Is this is us making new-better ones Casanova?" I look at him.

"Isn't it a good idea?"

I giggle and nods, biting my bottom lip "Sounds good"

I notice his mind wandering off as he looks down at his hands, "What did they mean earlier at school?" He looks at me "When they said Dylan use to make you cry?" I swallow harshly and before I could tell him to let it go he says "You don't have to hide it from me"

I sigh softly and give him a sad smile "Dylan never hurt me physically" I said "But mentally he did, he would always tell me that I'm not enough for him or if it wasn't me being enough-it was him not being enough. Saying how he knows I can do better and how he wishes he could be better for me and it would lead to me comforting him because I felt bad-he would always just make it seem like I was the problem like I was the reason why our relationship and not working out"

"Why'd you stay with him for so long?"

"Because he made it seem like he was the only one that will put up with all my bullshit" I look away and back to the water "He made me feel so insecure that I didn't think anyone would want me"

"But people do," He says "Don't you know how much everyone talks about how attractive you are?"

I look at him "Do you think I'm attractive?" I notice he was already looking at me.

He chuckles and looks away "It doesn't matter what I think"

"I wouldn't have asked you if it didn't matter"

He looks at me and I notice his eyes go down to my lips for a spit before looking away and avoiding my eyes "Anyone would be lucky to have you" He says.

I turn to him fully and I notice how nervous he was getting, only encouraging me to continue.

I put my hand on his thigh "Do you find me attractive?" I asked again, wanting to hear it.

His eyes fall to my hand and I see him visibly swallow before looking at me "What are you playing at?"

His eyes were sparkling in the moonlight and it was almost like I was in trance. My hand left his thigh and went to his cheek as I leaned in, closing the gap between us.

He didn't respond at first but after a few seconds, I felt his lips move with mine. It was like time stopped.

The last time we kissed, I kissed him and he didn't have time to respond-I wasn't even sure if at the time he would have.

I felt his hands go to my waist, pulling me to straddle his waist. He seemed almost hungry to taste more of me. His hands grabbed my waist roughly, making me let out a small moan. I felt him smirk into the kiss and I pull away, needing air.

I felt out of breath and dizzy from all the sudden pleasure. It didn't seem like he was needing the break I did as his lips kissed down to my neck, my fingers tangling into his hair as I stare up at the dark sky that displays bright stars. It's exactly the representation of my mind right now.

He kissed and nibbled on my sensitive skin, not allowing me to keep quiet as I moaned. "You don't know how long I wanted this" He whispered into my ear and I pull him away from my neck to look into my eyes.

"We shouldn't do this"

He smirks "No, we shouldn't," He said before leaning back into me and taking me up into a new kiss.

His hands running up my sweater, feeling his cold hands run along my body was everything I dreamed of.

I saw stars as his lips moved perfectly with mine, it was like we couldn't get enough of each other.

*Now Playing - Pink in
the Night by Mitski*

I don't think I mentioned this but this book is for all my smut lovers...

I mean come on, have you seen some of those songs on the playlist;)

But if you didn't know, this is me telling y'all this book is smut heavy

enjoy