A Dauntless Love

Chapter 9

I sat on the floor leaning my back against the counter. For the first time in my life I had no idea what to do. I had no notion of how to proceed. Should I tell Eric, should I not? Would he even want to know? He has never talked about fatherhood before. Does he even want a child? Do I? I looked down at my flat stomach. There was a child growing there. My child, Eric's child, our child. Eric and I had created this child together out of love. Well, out of what I thought was love. As scary as the prospect of being a single mother was I knew that I could not get rid of my baby. I put my hand on my stomach. I could not let go of the one thing of Eric I still had left. I stood up and dried off my eyes. Next step? I have no idea.

My stomach growled, right on time. This was always the time of day when I got hungry. That was good though. It gave me something to focus on. I could do this one step at a time. Right now I was going to go change out of this tight dress. After that I was going to make myself dinner, I really couldn't handle the dining hall today. Then after that I would get ready for bed, maybe read a book. Anything beyond that was too far in advance for me to handle. I was going to live in the moment. For now I had a mission and tomorrow I would deal with the situation I found myself in.

I peeled off the tight dress and hung it up. I put on some pajama pants and a tank top. That's when I realized the chain and the ring were gone. I went into full panic mode. I grabbed my dress and flung it around. The ring wasn't there. I retraced my steps inside the apartment and it was nowhere to be found. The ring was safe to wear in public as long as nobody saw the inside. Inside the band it had engraved Eric&Lizzy. If anyone found that then the secret we had kept safe for 2 years would be out. Now that we were not together anymore I couldn't stand people knowing we had been together. It would be hard enough being a single mom without people knowing who the father was. By losing that ring I had just inadvertently put my unborn child in danger. If the wrong hands found that ring...

I jumped when there was a knock at the door. I had no idea who it could be. Nobody ever came here. I grabbed my gun and went to the door. I slowly opened it, ready to defend myself if I had to.

"Hey Liz." Marley said.

I relaxed and put down the gun when I saw it was her. I stepped aside to let her in.

"What are you doing here?" I asked her.

"What, a friend can't just drop by to visit?" she asked.

"Yeah but you never come by." I said closing the door behind her.

She held up the chain and dangling from it was the ring.

"I found this at the shop. You must have dropped it on your way out." She said.

I grabbed it from her. Its weight was familiar in my palm.

"Oh thank you so much Marley. I don't know what I would have done if I had lost it."

She looked around the apartment. I realized that she was right by my row of positive pregnancy tests. All she had to do was turn around and she would see them. She leaned back against the counter only mere inches from them.

"You know you can trust me Lizzy." She said.

Lizzy? Eric was the only one who had ever called me Lizzy in my entire life.

"Uh yeah I know." I said.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked.

I played dumb.

"Tell you what?"

She took the ring from me and looked on the inside.

"Eric and Lizzy. I saw it when I picked it up." She said handing it back to me.

I tightened my palm around the ring.

"Oh." Was all I said.

She hit me softly on the shoulder.

"Eric, the Eric? Leader of Dauntless. I can't believe you didn't tell me that." She said.

My mood shifted when I saw she wasn't angry or suspicious. She really was just giving me crap for never telling her.

"Yeah that Eric." I said.

"Holy shit. You have been fucking one of the leaders of Dauntless." She said laughing. "I can't believe you would hold out on me like that."

"Uh yeah well it was a secret."

"Was? So it isn't a secret anymore and you still didn't tell me?" she said feigning hurt.

"No, we actually aren't together anymore."

Saying it out loud was harder than I had imagined it would be. I felt tears begin to well up in my eyes and tried my hardest not to shed them. Dauntless did not cry. I felt Marley's arms wrap around me.

"Oh my god Liz. I'm such an idiot. I'm so sorry." She said.

I hadn't really imagined what it would feel like to let someone else in on the secret. It had always just been Eric and I. Not even my parents knew about us. Letting Marley in had not been on purpose but I was glad it had happened. I really did trust her and she had always been a good friend to me. Her hands rubbed my back and soothed me. After a few minutes I let go.

"Thank you." I said.

"That is what friends are for. Now come on did you eat yet? Because I am starving."

Before I could stop her she turned around. They were right in front of her so it was impossible for her to not see them. She whipped back around to face me.

"Oh Liz." She said.

Out of a reflex I didn't know I had I put my hands on my stomach.

"I don't know what I'm going to do." I said.

Marley stayed with me all evening. We didn't talk about it. We didn't talk about the baby or Eric. She kept me distracted from it all. For the first time since Eric left I actually laughed. I didn't realize how lonely I was until I was with Marley. She was funny and caring. Finally night came and she went home. I was once again by myself but I did not despair. Marley had inadvertently shed some light on things. I was going to tell Eric. This was his child too and he deserved to know that they were going to be born. Whether or not he did anything about it was out of my hands. I made the decision to be a mom and it was up to him to decide to be a dad.

Before I left for work in the morning I wrote Eric a short note. All it said was 'We should probably talk'. I put one of the positive pregnancy tests in the envelope and sealed it. The envelope was burning a hole in my bag all day as I did tattoos. It was Marley's day off and I wished desperately that she had been there for moral support. Finally my day was over. I checked my bag for the envelope one more time and saw that it was there. My feet carried me unconsciously to Eric's apartment. It was early enough that he wouldn't be there. I slowly opened the door and checked to be sure. I stepped inside and set the envelope on the coffee table. I quickly closed the door behind me and walked away. The ball was in his court.

I was lying in bed unable to sleep. Thoughts of Eric and our baby invaded my head. I heard the front door open and jumped up. He had come to talk. I ran into the living room and froze. It was not Eric.