XIX

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Dazai awoke fairly early. He rubbed the crust from his eyes as he stared at the ceiling. Part of him didn't want to leave, another was screaming at him, to stop being so goddamn idiotic. He could lose [Name] at any moment and subconsciously he only waited for the call, the nurse at the other side, pretending like she didn't do this every other day - if not everyday - faux empathy as she listened to hundreds of people break down before her. False condolence, and 'sorry for your loss's.
Somehow he got himself to sit up, the stinging in his arms shortly reminding him to buy a creme later. As he got up, he glanced at the remains of yesterday, pulling his face into a disgusted grimace. He shook off the negative thoughts best he could, and got ready for visiting time.
Kunikida was blowing up his phone, while he was trying to get to the hospital as fast as possible. So much so, that Dazai turned off his phone. While he did, he first looked at the time. "Goddammit." He hissed at himself. It was nowhere near visiting times. He'd have to find other ways to busy himself until he could visit.
So he went to the library, a place where he and [Name] went often. Sometimes to find new books to read together, other times to read the ones they already had.
He made his way past a worker that knew the both of them, but when the worker greeted him he didn't even give him a glance. Dazai just kept going at his slow pace, making his way to their favorite spot. He sat down and opened the book, trying to concentrate on the words in it. The words where spoken in his mind as he got more and more lost in the book, yet he couldn't keep his mind in one place. It kept swinging back and forth between the book and [Name]. The story of the book, and the possibilities of [Name] future. The characters, and his personality. The words of adventure, and the thoughts of the inevitable.
He was terrified, and he knew it. He was more terrified then ever in his life before. It scared him how scared he was. He could no longer concentrate and decided to go back home.
Once he arrived, the first thing he did was turn his phone back on being welcomed by hundreds of messages and missed calls from Kunikida.
Dazai sat down on his futon and stared, just stared into space hoping something interesting, or at least entertaining would happen.
And so it did
The phone in his pocket rang, pulling him out of his trance. He fumbled with his pocket until his phone was in his hands, now seeing the phone call was coming from the hospital.
He picked it up as fast as he could, hoping for good news.
But almost dropped his phone.
"I'm sorry for your loss."
"What? This is a joke right? He's not dead! He-"
Dazai was cut off by the nurse on the other side.
"I'm sorry, but [Name] [Last Name] has passed. We're gonna need you to fill out some papers at the hospital. You can come anywhere in the next 3 days, alright?"
Dazai almost couldn't respond due to the lump in his throat, but managed to squeeze a quit word out of himself.
"Alright."

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