Odasaku's Last Wish (Dazai X Male!Reader)

VI

(TW: self-harm)

If he had known, if (Y/n) had only known. Dazai could keep barely anything from him, (Y/n) was a master at detecting what he was feeling or thinking, only getting better and better as time passed, but somehow he had kept this secret. Tucked away in the deepest recesses of his traumatised mind.

(Y/n) planned on suprising dazai by visiting him. He had told him where he lived in his last visit two days before valentines. (Y/n) wanted to give dazai a gift for the holiday, not exactly knowing what to give him he went with flowers. He arrived at the address dazai had said was his home, and knocked at the door. When no one answered, (Y/n) was about to walk away when he remembered dazai saying it were okay to enter his home unanounced. Still slightly hesitant, (Y/n) opened the suprisingly unlocked front door. He walked inside and closed the door behind him. "Dazai? Are you home?" He called out, just to make sure that he wasn't there. But before (Y/n) turned to the door to come back another time, he heard shuffling, then something falling and cursing. He knew the voice belonged to dazai, so he made his way to where the noises originated from to check on his friend, though the sight before him shook him to his core. It touched a part of him he didn't know was there, he felt guilty for not seeing the signs even though they were so well hidden.
Dazai sitting on the futon, a stench of alcohol and something similar to rust violating his nose. Red droplettes of an all to familiar substance falling into view as (Y/n) saw the vodka bottle that had dropped from the small table next to him. The final straw however, where dazais unbandaged arms, litterd from elbow to wrist in small cuts and scars, even with dazais quick witted self, he couldn't figure out an excuse for this obvious situation. He waited to be yelled at, scolded or even persecuted for these scars he inflicted on himself. He expected nothing more than disgust and rejection from his friend, this being the reason he flinched slightly when he felt arms wrap around him in an attempt to comfort him. It took a moment for dazai to realize the situation. So long that (Y/n) worried he had overstept his boundaries and let him go, apologising for not asking before hand. He couldn't even finish his sentence as not even halfway through Dazai threw himself at (Y/n), and for the first time he let himself be vulnerable. He let himself cry knowing (Y/n) wouldn't tell anyone, hell he wouldn't even mention it to dazai ever again if he so requested, and all he was met with was undying love from his friend, the love that he had been missing for so long, the love he had craved not knowing what he had needed.
As they lie on the futon in dazais apartment, dazais sobs slowly coming to an end, he still felt (Y/n)'s arms around him, gently stroking his hair and bringing him back to reality, his arms starting to burn a bit, but he didn't let go. "I'm here for you, okay? I'll be there for you as long as I'm alive, and I'll patch you up everytime you get hurt. So please don't scare me like that." (Y/n) said, gently grabbing dazais face, making him look the other in the eyes, eyes filled with worry, guilt, sorrow, and love. The last shocked dazai, even after all of this he still looked at him with such love and admiration. Something that he had always done, something dazai came to fall in love with, and suddenly he lost control of his body. For the first time in his entire life, his body took over his mind, moving without a thought, but rather instinct, and he wasn't afraid, it felt like small fireworks went of in his stomach, matching the butterflies (Y/n) felt in his. A tingly sensation making itself known as their lips connected. A fire work of emotions and broken pieces flinging themselves into place as their lips molded to eachother, finaly finding the piece in themselves that had been missing.