Sailing With Destiny

I Trusted You

I unlocked the car and got into the driver's seat. I put on the seatbelt and was about to start the car but froze before my finger was able to touch the start button. My mind rewound time and I was in Mithell's G Wagon all over again. I left in the middle of the night in December, and it was snowing too. 

Every little hair on my body stood and my stomach churned as I mentally relived the moment the car crashed. I tumbled upside down and the sound of shattering glass and metal crushing hurt my eardrums. 

I squeezed my eyes shut, my breathing came rapidly, and my heart raced while that moment played back on a loop in my head. I controlled my breathing but couldn't get rid of the mental image. 

It's been years Mila, get it out of your system. You're okay, you're safe. 

A loud bang startled me, and I covered my ears. Two more bangs forced me to open my eyes and I met Mitchell's wide gaze. He looked frantically between me and the steering wheel. I couldn't hear what he said from the thick glass windows, but it sounded as if he yelled at me to get out of the car. 

His face calmed me down and for a split second I was ready to listen to him but just like that, his disheveled hair reminded me of what I walked into. He looked and sounded like my Bitchell but he was not that person anymore. 

The hurt and pain I felt from what I had just witnessed drained out the trauma from the accident and I gathered the courage to start the car. Mitchell yelled furiously but I shook my head, gripped the steering wheel, exhaled through my lips, hit reverse, and gestured for Mitchell to move out of the way. He was stubborn but I was filled with so much hurt and rage that I didn't care for anything at that moment. 

I acted on impulse and pressed my foot on the accelerator. Mitchell's reflexes forced him to move out of the way and that allowed me to get away. 

My heart raced but I was able to speed out of the parking lot. I didn't miss Mitchell's distressed form via the rearview mirror. My throat ached and my heart hurt but I needed to leave. I assumed Mitchell would've eventually followed but I hoped he understood that I didn't want to see him at that moment... or ever again. 

I pulled onto the highway and that was when tears pooled in my eyes. Driving used to ease my mind but this time it didn't work. I couldn't get the image of Mitchell sharing what was once our bed with someone else. 

Could what he did be considered cheating? I supposed not because we were broken up. But were two words enough to erase every feeling, moment, and memory we shared so soon? Did over mean the end? I couldn't even think of seeing someone else let alone sharing my body with them so soon. Mitchell still very much lived in my heart and was a part of my every being. I loved him more than anything, yet it was so easy for him to forget everything. 

Tears rolled down my cheeks and I pressed on the gas. My heart hurt more than it ever had since Mom's death. I understood at that moment why it was called heartbreak because my heart truly felt broken. It physically hurt and I didn't know how to make it stop. 

I took deep breaths and did my best to only focus on the road. There was quite a bit of traffic and some people drove like idiots. My hands shook so I planted them firmly on the steering wheel and cleared my mind as much as possible. 

I couldn't go home to my family just yet and needed some time alone to collect myself. I drove to my apartment. I heard the tires screech when I pulled up and only then realized I drove over the speed limit. However, I couldn't care less. 

I slammed the car door shut, locked it, and took the elevator up to my apartment. There was a little cabinet on the wall in the hallway at the entrance of my apartment. I kept framed pictures of the people closest to me on it. Despite our breakup, I never had the heart to remove the picture of me and Mitchell. It was a picture we took at Faith and Owen's wedding, there was tension between us but the smiles on our faces were genuine because we laughed at something when it was clicked.