Sailing With Destiny

A Little Better

Chapter Contains Mature Content

I decided to have a career in the medical field because Mom got sick. I was adamant about finding some kind of full-proof treatment or even cure for Alzheimer's Disease. As I got older, I learned that it was a lot harder to reach that goal as there was very little discovered about the brain and the kinds of ailments it could develop. However, becoming a medical researcher still remained a goal.

After Mom passed, I worked with a lot more patients and grew to appreciate and enjoy how much of an impact I made on people's lives, merely by just doing my job. As I worked with more patients I contemplated if medical research was truly what I wanted and decided I'd cross that bridge when I got there. My main focus was to get through residency and see thereof.

But after Wendi died, I wasn't sure if I wanted anything more to do with the medical field. I was still upset about being unable to save her or keeping her alive until her granddaughter arrived. I was also awfully embarrassed for the way I reacted, I doubted any doctor acted that way before. I wasn't sure if I was cut out to be a doctor anymore. 

I stayed off work until Wednesday but had to rip off the band-aid and get back eventually. So, Thursday morning Mitchell insisted on dropping me off and after he made sure I was okay, he left. I appreciated the support I had from him and loved him all the more for it but I also didn't like being smothered and that was another reason I needed to get over myself and go back to normality. 

Mine and Mitchell's relationship was better but still felt a little strained. I couldn't be one hundred percent myself and still had many doubts. I tried not to think about what Dave said and tried to completely erase Leo but it was difficult because I knew their words held some truth. 

I assumed being back at work would've helped but the sympathetic looks from Kiara didn't help. For the first time, I was grateful to have worked with Nowak because he forgot all about my emotional outburst and remained indifferent toward me. Although, Nowak did suggest I only work for half the day and commence a full shift from the start of the next week. 

I took advantage of my spare time and made an appointment with a gynecologist to get an IUD. A lot might've happened since but I didn't forget about my pregnancy scare or two missed periods. So, I decided to get fuller proof of birth control and get myself checked at the same time. 

"I'm leaving soon. I trust you'll be able to handle the interns for the rest of the day?" I overheard Nowak say to Kiara just as I finished my afternoon rounds. 

"Your doubts are offensive, Reggie," Kiara replied. 

"I trust you are fully capable but I need everything in order, this is a hospital, not a school." I rolled my eyes at Nowak's reply. "If Dr. Clarke wasn't here from LA for the lecture, I wouldn't have bothered attending."

Dr. Clarke from LA, could he mean Carly? Mitch didn't mention that his mom was in town.

"Pardon me but I couldn't help overhearing you," I butted in. "Do you mean Dr. Carly Clarke?"

Nowak looked at me in dismay. "I do not like eavesdroppers but since you must know, yes, Dr. Carly Clarke is a guest lecturer at Columbia this evening."

I was surprised that Mitchell didn't mention that Carly was around. For the first time in days, I found myself earnestly smiling. I had so many doubts about my professional life as of late that some advice from Carly would've been great. I thought about calling her but figured it would've been better to talk to her in person. 

"That's amazing," I grinned. "What time is her lecture? I'd love to talk to –"

"Don't take this personally Dr. Brinson but Dr. Clarke is a very busy woman and doesn't have time to indulge in personal chats with interns. Besides, I don't think her lecture would interest you. Now if you'd excuse me."