Healing Harper-MYG✔️

#thirty-two#

Oh, how good it feels to cry.

But, oh, the hurt that it takes to thrive.

Oh, the pain. The anguish. The instability. The sorrow. The uncertainty. The long days, the sleepless nights.

The rocking of a boat that she never learned to steer. She's better off jumping overboard and learning to swim than staying on abandoned wood going nowhere.

At least here, there's progress. At least here, there's hope.

With tears come relief.

With relief comes aspiration.

There's nothing left to but swim.

But even here, the waters are tumultuous. The undercurrents threaten to pull her under.

The most that she can do is kick her legs and keep her head above water. And hope.

For somebody, anybody to look her way long enough to save her. To pass by a sea that was thought to be barren and pull her from the silent storm.

Yoongi cradles Harper in his lap as he sits on her bed. Clinging to herself, she cries and stutters in breath as she loses it.

He lifts her chin, forcing her head up. Her back straightens, opening up her lungs and allowing her to pull in adequate breaths,

Harper's cheeks are stained with tears and he thinks that it's astonishing just how much an infant can mirror their mother.

Yoongi puts her head against his chest, holding her close as he rocks back and forth.

He allows Harper to express herself with tears. He doesn't interrupt, he doesn't gaslight her and tell her that 'everything is okay'. It clearly is not.

When her cries have been reduced to sniffles again, when the tears on her cheeks have started to dry, Harper stays in his lap staring blankly out of the window.

With her head on Yoongi's chest, she takes a couple minutes to mentally calm down. Yoongi presses light kisses to her temple and rubs her arm comfortingly.

"Somebody asked me take some papers up to the third floor to Garrett. A nurse did. So I took them." She starts explaining quietly.

Her eyes are unblinking, expression unwavering as she continues to look out of the window.

"I saw her before she saw me and I tried to walk past her. I had to walk that way to get to the desk. But she saw me."

Stupid to think that I could avoid life like this. It always catches up.

"She started yelling about me needing to sign papers and.." Harper's eyebrows slowly pull together.

She can't remember anything else that was said. Not a single thing. In fact, she remembers nothing but-

"I walked down to the elevator to get away and Hailey was there. She took me to Taehyung's office. I decided I'd sign the papers just to get Helen off my back. She'd have never left me alone. She'd have never let it go."

Harper shakes her head, biting the skin of her lip.

"And I couldn't have let him stay like that." She admits out loud.

"Dr. Hyde explained and I just can't. Knowing that I could do something to change his outcome, knowing the damage that could be done.... And I feel so conflicted. I hate him, Yoongi." A lump forms in her throat.

"And yet, I couldn't bring myself to not sign. I hate him for what he did to me and I couldn't sit back knowing that my decision could determine his fate."