Goodnight dear... A Harry Potter Fan Fiction

Chpt 6

“You shouldn’t be in here.” I said in an imperious tone, the blonde woman peering around the door. “I thought that you might-” She began.
“No Nina, not even you.” I commanded, turning to face her as she shut the door, entering the room. “You shouldn’t have lied to them; they all know you can’t bear children,” she whispered. I turned away from her again, not wishing her to see my tears. “I wasn’t lying.” I said as I felt her close the gap. She touched my shoulder and I shook it off, the last thing I wanted right now was pity. “But Robyn-” Fed up, I stood and pressed her hand to my lower belly, she grimaced but her hands both moved around my stomach, with clinical proficiency, she was proving to me just why exactly she had been made a midwife. I looked into her golden eyes, a sign of her fertility, something I had always lacked, well thought I’d lacked. She looked up at me and then back down, her hands lingering in one spot for too long. “Nina what is it?” I asked slowly.
“I fear for the child, something isn't right with it, I can see it, in here,” she pointed at her head. “And it doesn’t seem to be forming properly.” She finally added. I sighed.
“How old is it?” I asked only because I knew the gestation for me would be a weird number. She lifted two fingers and added, “Days.” I sat back down.
“How much longer until it is born?” I asked barely opening my mouth. She looked intently at my stomach and when she looked back she answered. “I’d say just under a month.” She kneeled in front of me and I lowered my head, determined not to let her see that I was crying, unfortunately she lifted my head and made me face her. “You should stay here.” She offered helpfully, but I shook my head.
“Voldemort probably already knows anyway.” I whispered losing all hope.
“So… wait, it’s Voldemorts’?” My brow creased at the astonishment in her face.
“I wasn’t kidding when I said my husband wanted your allegiance.”
“Oh I wasn’t listening when you said that, I presumed you were with that human-” I cut her off exploding with rage. “Get out now!” I yelled watching her flee the room. She stopped though just before she shut the door behind her. “I won’t be here when you return.”

Great now even my best friend had left me.
I didn’t blame her for leaving me; I would have done the same. I sighed deeply, still so confused. I thought that I had dealt with my feelings for Sirius but by my show of affection towards Snape, I guess not. Then there was the issue of my love for Voldemort, I had grown to love him, even though he could not love me. But Sirius haunted me, even though the rest of that part of my life had been dealt with, I couldn’t shake what I had felt with him, it seemed that he had left a stain, I was so confused. My hair fell about my shoulders and I closed my eyes, exhaustion eating away at my mind, I wanted to be with Voldemort, even though sex was only about dominance, his hands could still hold me and I felt safe with him, no matter how scared I was of him. I think that was what lead me to going back to the Malfoy’s mansion, the fright drew me back.