Charred Promises

16 : Mattie's Secret..

"Whatever it is Noah, the whole world can come to stand still for all I care, I want to go to Mattie, I need to hear his voice again. There's so much I want to hear him say, there's so much I want to ask him! You have no idea how long I had to wait to see this day Noah, this might not be something you can understand but I can't stand here and explain how I feel at the moment, of course I'm thankful for whatever you did.." Caitlynn pleaded but Noah didn't loosen the death grip he had on her.

"I don't want you to be thankful, all I want is for you to please listen to this one thing I have to tell you." Noah said and Caitlynn waited for him to continue, he took a breath "I heard him that day when I baby sat for him. He spoke to his painting, it was a few words but he did form a sentence. " Noah said and Caitlynn was shocked.

"You're telling me that he could talk all this while, he just chose not to?" Caitlynn asked in disbelief, clearly it wasn't possible that he chose not to speak, Caitlynn had begged Matt to speak or write something he knew about that day, but he simply refused and walked away in silence. She couldn't believe it was possible for a child to act this way until and unless he was told to.

"I'm not sure about that part, but later on I tried to make him talk and he reacted defensively, so I thought it was better not to overwhelm him or you by making a big deal out of it." Noah said trying to calm her down, he knew this revelation had upset her in more ways than Noah had anticipated.

"But Noah you should have told me, you know I have been waiting for this moment for the longest time.. I'm his mother.." Caitlynn said softly. She kept looking back at Matt, but now they couldn't hear him even if he spoke to the kitten.

"And that's exactly why I didn't want you to know this so prematurely. I wanted to be sure and him to be comfortable enough to speak in front of everyone." Noah explained.

"Noah you can't be keeping things like these from me." Caitlynn felt betrayed, by whom she wasn't sure.

"I'll keep in mind in the future. I'm sorry if you think what I did was wrong." Noah said, Caitlynn just shook her head. She turned away from him and Noah hugged her from behind "Please don't be mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you Noah" Caitlynn said with tearful eyes.

"Are you upset?" he asked softly.

"Very much, I thought you were in my team."

"I wasn't aware we had a team." Noah joked

"Well we do and I'm banishing you from my team." she joked back.

"You know, your actions contradict your words." Noah so softly that it send chills down her spine. Caitlynn hadn't realised that she was giving in to the back hug, they fit like a glove and as soon as he said that she tried to wiggle herself out of his embrace and he let her, he saw she looked flushed. Noah pulled her to watch Matt.

"Why do you think he chose to hide this fact that he could talk all this while, how can he hide something from the doctors? The endless therapy sessions, I don't understand why would anyone want to go through all this and not let us know that he could talk." Caitlynn still couldn't fathom.

"May be he doesn't want to hear the things you want him to say.."

"Noah he's my kid, I wouldn't force him to say or do anything that he doesn't want to." she countered.

"That's where you are wrong Caitlynn, you might be close to him, you might want what's best for him but it all comes down to the fact that you are his parent. And Parents do crazy shit sometimes, sometimes they screw up things so bad that there's no going back from it, the amount of hurt and pain they were inured in childhood stays a lifetime with them and past is such a fucking thing, there's no running away from it, we just choose to ignore and walk away from them but they keep catching up to us every now and then."

"Well I wouldn't know, both my parents died soon, don't know sort of people they actually were, but how little I know of them, they were perfect, madly in love, I was their only child..One day I'd like to hear how your childhood was, I'm as clueless as Juno is regarding you." Caitlynn said to him, he was getting uncomfortable where this conversation was going. Talking about his past was not something he was comfortable with and that wasn't going to change, even if the other person was Caitlynn.

"Whatever I am is right in front of you, whatever happened in my past is responsible for what I am today." Noah said with a straight face.

"Makes it all the more intriguing of knowing you even better." Caitlynn pushed.

"You do know me better than most of the people I know in my entire life." Noah said moving a little away from Caitlynn.

"I'm not a shitty parent you know, I wouldn't do anything to hurt Matt." she said coming back to Noah.

"He's just looking out for himself Clark, don't take it too personal."

"He is personal, Noah! You know what I'm not talking to you about this, you clearly don't understand how parenting works." Caitlynn accused.

"What makes you so sure that you have got this parenting thing all figured out?"

"I don't.. But I'm trying Noah." Caitlynn's voice cracked, Noah felt bad, his foul mood was spoiling what the important situation at hand.

"As long as you don't give up."

"Who gives up on their kids, Noah!!" Caitlynn wasn't letting go, she was getting offended.

"Some people! Look I don't want to talk about it, like you said we can't be on the same page on this topic, this topic is not open for discussion. I don't want to disagree with you or worse, fight with you, so we won't discuss about this topic." Noah said and she nodded her head in agreement.

"Fair enough." she mumbled.

They watched Matt whisper something inaudible to the bird. Noah walked towards Matt and sat next to him holding the kitten.

"Who is this cutie?" Noah asked Matt.

"kitty!" Matt squeaked.

"I can see that, is it hurt?" Matt looked at Noah and shrugged. Noah tried to touch the kitten and it tried to hissed and tried to scratch his fingers, Noah pulled his finger and sucked on his wound, Matt laughed hard.

"And I'm going to allow this kitty to loiter around in the house if that's going to make you happy." Caitlynn said coming closer.

"Really mum?" Matt said running into her arms with the kitten in between them. She scrunched her nose but nothing was going to spoil this moment for them.

"really Mattie.." she mumbled and kissed on top of his head.

"I love you mum." Matt said and Caitlynn couldn't stop her tears.

"I love you too little man."

Thank You for Reading..