Charred Promises

13 - This is enough.. You are enough..

Caitlynn woke up to the most uneasy feeling and couldn't shake off what the practically stranger had advised her, she knew he must have given her one of his excellent therapy session he was good at, but she wasn't seeking for any advice, heck she didn't even know that she just had not found closure to what happened.

'Had I seen Greg's body would I have reacted in a different way?'

'would I feel better if I had seen him suffer in his last moments?'

'had we survived the accident and if he had lost his memory or something and he has no recollection of the infidelity, would they have pretended like everything was okay like she had pretended for the last five or so years?'

She was losing her mind, all the pain, every wound had been forced open and she wanted to shut these voices in her head. The kids were at school and she thanked God that they weren't here to see the mess she had turned into. She was finding it hard to breath. She wanted to go for a drive, but she had not touched a steering wheel since the accident.

Noah!

Noah was in with his client taking a session online when he heard the doorbell. He tried to ignore the two times but his thought went to Juno, she was at school but might have come home for something urgent. He made excuse of bad connection and finished the call.

He opened the door to someone sitting on the steps.

"Clark? "

"Noah! " She got up and got inside, he shut the door behind him and walked over to where she was pacing.

"Clarks are you okay? " Noah asked her.

"Do you have a car Noah? " she asked facing him, holding his arms.

"Yes, but is everything okay, the kids? "

"Yes, yes! Everyone and everything is okay except me Noah, I don't feel right about what happened and I'm losing it Noah, I have all these questions from the talk we had yesterday, and I thought I had put everything behind me but clearly I haven't had closure, I should have looked for his body, what if he was alive and hurt without any memory of anything? I don't even know the name of the girl he was in love with, she deserves to know that he's not coming back! Will we ever hear Mattie's voice? How much does Violet know about the whole thing? Will they ever get over the fact that I'm losing it and I can't be losing it!!" Noah tried to stop her from pacing but she just shifted around him. Then he just went behind her and hugged to calm her down."Shhh Shhh..." Noah tried, Her breath hitched, she closed her eyes and welled up tears fell on its own accord. She silently wept and he tried to calm her down. They stayed the same way till she calmed down, both didn't let go, Noah had forgotten the last time he felt this warm. He was in no hurry to let go.

This was the first time someone had held Caitlynn and she relaxed, there was something soothing about how he held her.

"Clark?" Noah finally finding his voice "hmmm?"

"Where is Ian? " Noah asked her, that opened her eyes and she turned her head to look straight into his eyes, she had never noticed how dark they were, she wondered if they had always been as they were at that moment. she had forgotten he had asked about Ian. "He's.. He's at the play group " She said finally finding her voice, it was barely a whisper. She couldn't believe what she was doing she broke the eye contact and tried to loosen his death grip, he let go of her only to turn her around so now she was facing him, if her breath was hitched before now she wasn't sure she knew how to breath, he pulled her closer and his hands came to hold her face. She wanted to look into his eyes but was scared where all this was going, she looked away.

"Look at me Clark" Noah pressed, she obliged.

"Hey, you got this! you are so much more than you give credit for, taking care of the kids, you are like this pillar we all can fall upon, but you being you never once wanted anyone to support you, like a rock you let everything crash and burn. I don't know what sort of relationship you had with him but all that is part of your past and we can't do anything to change the past but what we can do is live with it and make peace with it. You have a wonderful future ahead Clark, with your kids, with someone who can show you how you are supposed to be treated.." Noah wiped the tears with his thumb, she smiled through her tears, she pulled him into soft hug.