Confessions of a pagan gal. {the finally of memoirs} ✔️

big dipper

You're probably wondering where my brains a little appetite for knowledge came from it came from when I was four years old. When my father taught me about the planets and the big dipper and a little bit about DNA.    I would be there in the backyard at night in Family functions my idiot and being there with her stupid sons and my cell phone the swing set at a four just trying to figure out stuff and then my father said I'll show you something very interesting and I said watch and he said I'll show you turn me around took me out of this off the swingset turn me around pointing north inside that spoon like thing is the Big Dipper and then eight points to another store called the north star which is another which in another smaller spoon called the Little Dipper.   Enjoy face a big Gamper and little damper for quite some time that family function I never stayed up that late until I was 33 years old when I was with my brothers place entertaining some friends but anyway that's another story ion it up being amazed looking at the big Gapper it's complexity and simplicity and it's beauty it was easy on the other wasn't just easy to find but it was easy to look at it was a wonderful looking constellation to me the epitome of being Canadian. As if we lived under the big gap instead of the Maplelealea that was my opinion. So I always had another session with the big dipper and then when I was one night before school I was watching Star Trek with my father and the planet Saturn came up I said what the hell kind of plant is that even though as far as all I still had a bit of a mouse and he said that is Saturn first is mercury than Venus then where we live earth then Mars than the astroid belt Jupiter Saturn what you just saw and then Uranus Neptune and Pluto at the time I thought Pluto was a planet. It wasn't until I was an older kid or an older teen that I found out that Pluto is no longer a planet or a what is debateable as a planet. I always was interested in stuff like this. But then I also was interested in esoteric stuff when I got older but that's another story altogether. And then I remember one day I was watching Jurassic Park and they mention the three magic letters DNA and I said what is DNA and my father says the stuff that makes who you are and what you look like in the stuff. What you look like that doesn't mean diddly squat to me when I was 17 years old I was going to change that for a fact.  I never really like my hair colour to begin with enc ed ask the hairdresser a colour red green or pink. That's when I decided when I was having enough of my hair colour and I was only eight years old at the time relearning the big dipper from the school when she was just embellishing on the big dipper. And I said why can I have my goddamn hair to be goddamn pink or green and they said because it's supposed to be your natural hair colour and share DNA and I said well I don't really care and then I had an obsession still at age 5 with body piercings and tattoos you know I was young was very fascinated when I saw an eyebrow ring or a nose ring or a lip ring or a nice piece of artwork on somebody's  shoulder,  Answer my father would get me artificial tattoos those rubber of tattoos or you rub off in the shower and they were fine but they didn't last very long and I wanted the real thing by the time I was 11 years old. That's when I ended up having a J word fight with my mother over the tattoos. 
That's fine continued over 20 Audi year is 22 years when I was deciding I was going to get a tattoo she finally gave in at  my age 30, and said I can get as many tattoos as I want I was wondering what the hell happened to my loving mother and who took her away from me when it was still her nonetheless and I was wondering why was all I being told one minute I couldn't get a tattoo in the next minute you can get a tattoo or as many as you want and I was very sure there was an alien that took over my mothers body. But it wasn't an alien it was just her being her loving self. I am not being sarcastic and this is my adoptive mother next chapter will be about my first true shitty years of my life and then where I came to be and how I became a Canadian citizen and stuff so stay tune for that. But anyway she was a very good mother I ended up one day at age 33 getting a tattoo of a Jupiter not just because I called her the pearl the size of Jupiter but also because I Ended up with a brother who was very good with astronomy as well his name is Ryan and my father was the one that taught me the plan is a big difference so forth when I was a tiny child so therefore the Jupiter what is a masterpiece for everyone in my family.   And I also remember that the six grade and I know this sounds like gibberish right now telling you about random memories but I remember seeing a university like textbook a picture of a water molecule with pink hydrogen atoms in an Blue oxygen atom has the word H20 I finally learned won the Hardaway  h2no.   But that'll be a different story on on the last because that's a long bastard of a story that I really wish I could block out but I can't because I have the memory of a super computer or an iPad one of the two and he cannot wipe it really easily. There are sometimes I go around my group home and I see something I would I said I wish I didn't see that I wish I can and see that I'm not gonna say exactly what but I'll just say there are some things that I see and there are some things that I on wish I could unsee.   And there was a lot of things I wish I could erase from my brain or my eyes memory as well my eyes even have memories and sometimes they come back when you go to sleep seeing someone having a shit or something so I wasn't too fun there I said it. But that wasn't that's just the bad part that's only one bad part about living where I was living in a group home after and this is another bastard of a story how I want to live in a group home. And how I ended up learning what I learned anyway so there you go.

-fin