Confessions of a pagan gal. {the finally of memoirs} ✔️

Halloween's past

My favorite Halloween was when I was in the 8th grade if you were to believe that or not me and a friend were going trick or treating but I dressed as a G-Man or FBI agent it was very interesting to see me as a zombie FBI agent and it kind of set the course of my life. I also ended up deciding that if that was my destiny right then and there but then again that's before the bullying started. But I was going to do what I wanted anyways stubborn as well that's what my favorite Halloween of the past is me dressed up as J Edgar Hoover more or less. That's basically it and I tried to replicate that look many times over the years and I got hairy eyeballs plenty times and I would either yell at the people giving me the hairy eyeball or giving me the dirty look one of the two of the wood suffer through my cursing that's when I really started to curse and swear. Was a great 7th grade age was one I started to swear I'm not too proud of my potty mouth and I've tried so many times with New Year's resolutions after New Year's resolutions I'm not going to swear this year I'm not going to swear this weekend let's see what happens and then I can try the year never works. So I just gave up on it because it's always going to be something stressful happening or something goofy happening that's going to say oh bleep and then the next thing you know you're stuck with this nasty cycle of swearing again I try to cut it out as much as possible and try not to use these nasty words half the time but as I said sometimes it's like I have a PTSD flashback or I have a bad day or I stub my toe I'm not trying to make any excuses but it's just things like crap this happened to me again only without the crap part. Now I'm trying to use the word fidget spinner instead of the f word I say oh fidget spinner only said the f word one I say that I've screwed up and that being said I rarely use that word I even try not to use it in my biographies but as I said sometimes that word pops up anyway. The only time it ever shows up is in my rap music. But that's about it because usually the song requires me to use that word because I'm talking about something that I'm passionate about other than that I try to keep my mouth clean and try to say okay I'm not going to use this word today. But as I said it started when I was in seventh grade to eighth grade and that never stopped ever since and I couldn't even get it off my chest even even when I was down with the clown when I was 6 years old never swore very much even though the Insane Clown Posse swore. But I didn't swear until I was in the 7th grade when I saw the Twin Towers go down with the eight of two annoying airplanes and I was more or less going oh flapper and I didn't say flipper I was actually saying the actual f word and it never stopped from there and it got to the point where my father when he was trying to fix my scooter. That he said if you say that language again I'm going to call all your privileges and you'll be in your room. That was the only time he was sober and said that is I'm going to call your privileges all together and you won't have anything to do and you'll be stuck and you're going to be swearing even more. Something I didn't want to do but he tried to scare me with that holding the wrench in his hand saying you better not use that language again as he was fixing my scooter and I said okay but it didn't scare me I still said those languages anyway. It was a little embarrassing for me to think about the fact that that did not scare me to death for you know no TV time no computer time no Myspace at the time instead I just kept on like a sailor on leave. It was not my proudest moments whenever I say these words. I have even picked up medical terminology if you know what I mean with derogatory meanings like see you next Tuesday another things like that trying to be tactful here. And I basically said instead of saying that I say Anatomy piece that person is being an anatomy piece or something like that trying to be more tactful about things. Instead of saying the person's being a dick or whatever Body Party can think of. Sorry for being so explicit but that's basically my side of the thing is that I've been swearing and got to the point where I can name body parts in a very derogatory way and it's gotten to the point where I say I'm I'm finished with it. So that being said I don't swear anymore or I try to avoid it especially when I'm angry I try to avoid it and try to go somewhere else lock myself in my room and just be quiet or just do something else instead of cussing up a storm and making an animal out of myself like I did when I was in eighth grade.