Sofia Petrov was used to a life of danger. Growing up as a part of the Bratva in Moscow had made sure of that. Though, nothing in the world could have prepared her for the sinful temptation that was Alexei Zakharov. Brooding and haunted by the demon...
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"Remember that therapist I was seeing a few years back? The one that Sergei had recommended?"
My forehead furrowed in confusion as I wondered what that woman had to do with this.
"Yeah? The one who supposedly made a difference" I said, adding air quotes to that word, "and helped you?" I rolled my eyes at the thought, remembering how Dimitri had encouraged Mikhail and I to go to her as well. But he hadn't pushed the matter when Alexei had abruptly stopped going for his sessions.
"Yeah, well she uh...she wasn't what she made out to be." His voice grew rough as he averted his eyes from me. "It was all good in the beginning. She made it seem like she understood me - a street urchin, for fuck's sake." He laughed dryly, though the carefully masked expression on his face said otherwise. "She was good. So good to me. Sometimes I wondered why. No one outside of the Petrov family had shown me any kindness. Even my own parents didn't want me enough to stay. So why did this woman suddenly care so much?"
"Why did she?" I whispered the question, breaking the silence as a heavy feeling sat in my gut.
"Because I was nothing but her next new plaything." A deep shudder ran through Alexei before he continued speaking. "I didn't understand it at that time, but she was abusing her position to manipulate me. To lead me into thinking that everybody at home had bad intentions and she was the only one who actually gave a shit about me. It was all okay until then. I could recover from the toxicity eventually. But what fucked me up the most was how she used me for her own pleasure."
My face paled at his insinuation, not wanting to really believe that he had gone through it. Alexei who had always shown a brave front, always the stoic man who seemed so impenetrable had been hurt before. By a woman nonetheless. No wonder he wanted to keep me five feet apart.
"She raped me, you know." His voice was raw, tinged with pain. My heart bled for the man sitting beside me as I finally figured out the extent of his demons. I was hurting for him, hurting with him. "She forced me to lie down on the couch as she stripped me bare. I was frozen in place, too shocked to even move or understand what was happening. I kind of just blanked out, only aware that she was saying something to me as I tried to tell her no...as I tried to show my discomfort with the situation. And then, in the blink of an eye, it was over. She was standing, naked in front of me, stroking me everywhere. I felt numb. So fucking numb."
"Alexei..." I whispered brokenly as I reached out to touch him.
"Don't." He warned, his voice rough with emotion. "Don't fucking pity me."
"I'm not -
"After that, everything became a routine for me. Wake up, get shit done, stay the fuck away from women because they were nothing but conniving little bitches. Even when I fucked, I fucked them from the back, knowing that I'd start raging like a psycho if I ever had to see their faces. The only person I could even remotely tolerate was you. You made me feel different. As if that part of me wouldn't change the way you saw me. That you didn't see me as a broken boy. But obviously, those were just my delusions. And hence, my reasons for staying away from you."
