No Nuance November

Circus

 "Well it's your birthday M'gann, so what do you want to do?" Zatanna asked her for the third time that day.

They'd all been trying to figure out what the martian wanted to do for her birthday but had not gained much ground in figuring it out. All they'd gotten is she just wanted to do something everyone would enjoy.

"I honestly don't care." M'gann replied. "As long as everyone is together. That's all I want."

"You know that isn't very helpful right?" Robin asked her. "We can all be together. We've established that much, we still need you to pick what we're doing."

"I know there's this Magician that is supposed to perform in Central City next Wednesday." Wally offered. "That could be fun."

"Yeah, I'm just gonna veto that right now." Zatanna countered.

"Okay, so no magic show." Wally held his hands up in surrender. "Just a suggestion."

"Hello Megan." She snapped her fingers. "I just remember there's supposed to be this circus coming into town, they have shows on my birthday. We could do that."

"If that's what you want, sure." Artemis agreed. "That sounds fun."

"Yeah, okay." Zatanna nodded, leaning back in her seat. "I haven't been to a circus performance in years. That could be fun."

Wally hesitated. "The circus? Have you been to a circus on Earth?"

"Other than the one we performed in as a cover? No." M'gann answers. "All the more reason."

Robin didn't miss Wally's eyes flickering towards him when the idea was offered. He didn't know how to feel. He'd be okay under normal circumstances but her birthday was extremely close to the anniversary.

"Sounds fun." Robin finally added after a moment.

"Alright, then it's settled. The whole team will be attending the circus for my birthday." M'gann announced.

"Okay, I'll secure the tickets." Zatanna offered.

Robin felt off.

He knew he needed to step away for a moment. He excused himself. He needed to be alone, to think.

This week had been long and continued to drag on. Only adding to the fact was the anniversary coming up. It always threw him through a loop. He was confident that any other time, any other day, this wouldn't bug him. But, this time a year had him feeling off.

He was afraid of how he might react. He didn't want to scare anyone or make anyone feel bad that he can't go but he also wants to accommodate M'gann's wishes for her birthday

"Hey!" Wally called out as he jogged to catch up. "Are you gonna be okay?"

"What? Yeah I'll be fine." Robin told him easily even though it felt like a lie.

"You sure? You just- you don't seem like it'll be fine. I'm sure we can come up with something else."

"No, it's fine. I'll be fine."

Wally didn't seem convinced and Dick certainly didn't feel convinced.

He spent the next week and half feeling absolutely miserable. Dick knew he should tell them he really wasn't up for this but he couldn't bring himself to disappoint any of them. Especially since they would ask a reason and Dick definitely doesn't trust himself to provide one.

What made it all the more annoying was that it wasn't the same day. The anniversary was three days after. It made him feel irrational. He hadn't been this bad in a long time.