Orphaned Stars (original title Humanity)

Chapter 5

31st December 2014 - Shahnaz.

The rain hammered on the tin roof as I sat down to fix the small television Mr Collins kindly donated to us. We didn't live in the pretty huge house, but in the outhouse across the garden. Yasir and Azra slept on the small bed that we could afford.

Mother sat on the floor next to me while I tuned the station for a better view. She didn't have to say anything. I could tell she was reluctant to bring of the topic by the way she twisted the corner of her veil around her coarse fingers.

"Do you remember your cousin Ahmed?"

I didn't want to have this conversation, the same conversation about marriage.

"He's working for the Pakistani army now. He's on a good wage and still makes time to come home."

My silence should have been a big hint, that I didn't want to get married but I continued working.

"You'd make a lovely couple. He's quite taken by you."

"No," I said as I placed the screwdriver on the floor. "I will not marry him."

"Don't be selfish Shahnaz," mother hissed. "You're getting old now, most girls would have their second child by now and you're just wasting your life away as a servant girl for that white family. I want you to have a better life."

"And what makes you think my life would get any better? You do know we're talking about the same man who came here last week and -"

"It was clearly an accident."

"No one," I said inhaling sharply, "accidently walks into a room, fully aware that someone is already there changing their clothes."

"It was a mistake," she whispered.

I stood, chucking the tools to the table, not caring if my siblings woke. "If I hadn't given him two slaps then only Allah Pak knows something worse would have happened."

"He wouldn't lay a finger on you," she said, standing up.

"Oh," I exclaimed. "How can you be so blinded by his love? He's a bad one mother. Whenever he gets the chance he would follow me and try to -"

"Now that is enough!" she shouted, not loud enough. "I will not have you -"

"I will not sit here and listen to you defend his disgusting behaviour."

Now my mother had on good authority to slap me. I should have stood my ground. Instead the suffocation and the sound of the rain hammering on us intensified and I turned my back.

"You should be lucky that someone has taken an interest in you." My mother scolded as I opened the door to walk onto the patio.

I'm sure she was hurling some swear words here and there but I didn't look back. I breathed in the wet grass scent clinging to the air. As I sat on the ledge, hugging my shoulders, I stared at the mansion ahead. How lucky people were to be rich. It seemed like everything could be solved with money and the right luxury. How lucky for them to live in a society filled with freedom. And here I was sitting, wishing my life away. I know there is more to life than marriage - I just know it. It's hard to convince others, espically in a patriarchal society.

A light flicked on and my eyes followed Master Isaac, who stood at the balcony to his bedroom. He drank from a steamy hot cocoa and I heard fireworks blasting from the nearby neighbourhood. Tomorrow would mark the start of a new day in the New Year, yet I found myself every year serving the same family.

A/N - so a filler chapter / flashback chapter of Shahnaz's home life. A young girl who knows there more to life then tying a knot with her pervert cousin. I want to know you thoughts, opinions - anything. Is anyone even reading this?