I Want be your End Game

Seventeen

"What-" Do I truly want to know? I look into his eyes, everything in me is telling me not to but I need to know. If I want to be in his world, I can not know. I need to know what I'm accepting to be in if I want to be with him. "What world do you guys live in? What business?"

Prickles of pain run through me, causing my heart to speed up. It's a long debate in my mind on if I truly want to know but it's too late now since I did ask the question.

Ian's eyes darken, as he runs his hand through his hair. "I don't think it's for you to know."

"Why not? It's not like I'm in the middle of it, oh wait. I am."

"It's not safe, Julia."

I grip the edge of the countertop, "Will you stop with the 'It's not safe,' crap! Just tell me what flying mess you're involved in!"

"Julia-"
"No." I cut him off seeing his eyes soften up. "Don't give me that look. I want to know now, Ian. You can't hide it from me any longer. All that has happened, I deserve to know. Especially since I went on a date with the guy who wants to kill you." I'm now standing in front of him, with only a few feet between us. My arms crossed over my chest, showing that I'm not backing down.

Ian averts his off of me, looking around my house, letting out a heavy sign. "Can we at least sit down, first?" I nod my head, walk past him, and led him to the couch.

I make sure to leave space between us, not wanting to feel the spark that clouds my mind. He's good at getting under my skin, to make me forget the world surrounding us. I'm not going to let him do that. I want answers and my foot is firm to make sure that happens.

"So?" I tuck my legs into me, waiting for him to explain everything. To prove I've been right all this time.

"Once I tell you there's no going back." He states, placing his elbows on his knees, and glancing over at me. Probably seeing if I'm going to back out but I'm not. "It's been clear that you know I'm involved in illegal things. Well, it's deeper than the bits of pieces you know."

I fiddle with my sleeves waiting for the bombshell I feel about to be dropped. Something in me knows what he's going to tell me and it terrifies me.

"Julia, I work in the mafia world. Not just work, I'm the mafia leader and so is Nicholas which is why he wants me dead."

My heart drops so fast, I have no words. I don't know what to say nor do I know how I should feel. I place my head on my knees, how am I supposed to react to this? I have been messing around with a mafia leader. The one person I constantly crave day and night is worse than I imagine.

"Julia?" Ian reaches his hand out, but before he could touch me I scoot away from him. I can see the pain in his facial expression. I knew it was hard for him to tell me and my reaction wasn't helping. "I'll leave you with your thoughts." He gets up from the couch. "You know how to get a hold of me when you're ready to talk." My eyes watch him walk towards the front door. "I'm gonna be leaving one of my men to look after you just in case." He didn't have to explain further since I knew what he meant by it.

I wait until I hear the door click signaling he officially left before I allow the tears to escape. Everything hurts. Why me? I didn't ask for any of this. The one person I catch feelings for has to be the most dangerous man in this world.

After a few minutes of dwelling on the couch, I manage to go into my bedroom and allow myself to sink into my bed with my laptop on my lap. Staring at the progress I have made, now I contemplate if it's still a smart idea. September just began, and the semester ends in 3 months, I can't start over now. 

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