For Worse or For Better- Book #6 in the WF Series

Chapter 39: Therapist

Let me let him get comfortable with that first before I unleash this information.

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✩ Roman's POV ✩

"Do you blame your father?"

We're starting off fucking heavy.

We already had a few consultations to see if I wanted to beat his ass if I didn't like him. Turns out, all therapists aren't dicks. The ones Alaiya had before her current one made me want to ask their college how the hell they got that degree and how much they paid them under the counter. But Dr.Mitchel is thankfully calm and doesn't push anything forcefully which makes it feel like we're having a conversation rather than having to talk about my shitty past.

"No."

I cannot believe I'm sitting on a couch, talking about my feelings.

"Okay, did you ever blame your father?" Dr.Mitchel asks me, his back against his couch chair, his attention all on me.

"For what? My mother's drug abuse?"

"Any of it."

"He had nothing to do with her using. She told me she started before they got married and just kept it a secret," I explain.

"What about what she would do to you? Do you blame him for that?"

I take a minute.

"If he was home more often, maybe he would've found out, but then again, she knew how to keep secrets so there was a big chance he also wouldn't have," I truthfully admit.

"You haven't answered my question, Roman. I understand when you say that she was able to keep things from him. What I'm asking is if you still or ever held accountability towards your father for not being there when the assault was going on," he surprisingly says that in the nicest way which you wouldn't expect if you read that on paper.

"I did when I was little. But then I learned that it was just who she was."

He nods. "And you said your father is now married?"

I nod this time.

"How does it feel for that to happen? To watch your dad spend more time with that woman than he probably did with your mom?"

"I have nothing against him. I want him to be happy."

Dr.Mitchel interlocks his hands. "You may want him to be happy, but that doesn't mean jealousy doesn't come into play. You said he wasn't home a lot? How often is he at home with his new wife?" he questions.

"He works from home now," I answer, realizing that does sound pretty bad.

Dr.Mitchel gives me the 'how does that make you feel' look.

"If I was younger, yeah, I would've been angry that he did that. We moved on from it though."

"We?"

"Me," I correct.

"Roman, there is no moving on from this situation until you can admit to me that there is or was a part of you that still feels anger towards your father for letting that happen to you. As a father, his responsibility is to make sure you're okay. We're taught as children that our parents should be the ones to save us. You won't be able to move on until you can admit that and then you can learn to cope with it. I believe that once that happens, you'll be able to also talk about your nightmares and we can get control of those as well."