Tarwa's Ridiculous Adventures

Age of Ultron

Wanda: I can show you what you truly fear!
Ulysses Klaue: Cuttlefish! I watched a documentary on them once. Fish deep in the sea, with disco lights that draw in it's prey before it snaps it away. You going to show me a giant cuttlefish? You won't because I can tell you're not in charge. You won't do business with me, and I do business ONLY with who's in charge!
Can we all just take a moment to appreciate Andy Serkis's South African accent? He is just plain brilliant.

Ultron: You think I'm like Stark? How dare you! *chops off Klaue's arm* *immediately regrets it* Oh, I'm sorry. I think that'll be fine.
O_O

Ultron: Don't compare me with Stark! He's a sickness!
Tony: Aww, junior, you're going to break your old man's heart...
This entrance could not be more perfect.

Ultron: I can't actually throw up in my mouth, but if I could I would do it.
Why is this evil program so hilarious?

Thor: That witch tried to put a spell on me! I doubt a mortal could resist her. Fortunately, I am mighty! *enters an illusion*
So much for the mighty son of Odin...

Wanda: *tries to mind control Clint*
Clint: *sticks a taser arrow on her head* Already tried the mind-control thing. Not a fan.
Lol, lol, lol! She had that coming for her. XD

Bruce (as Hulk): *on a rampage*
Tony: Listen to me, that little witch is messing with your mind. You're stronger than her, you're smarter than her. You're Bruce Banner!
Hulk: *roars and throws a car at Tony*
Tony: Right, don't mention puny Banner...
Nope, not puny Banner. XD

Maria: *narrowing it down to Captain America* He's fast, she's weird.
That's one way to put it.

Clint: *introducing the Avengers to his wife*
*spits out juice* His ... WIFE?
Tony: She's an agent of some kind.
Clint: Everyone, this is Laura.
Laura: Hi. *smiles* I already know all your names.
Clint and Laura's Kids: *come into view*
Clint: *hugs them*
Tony: *bewildered* And these must be ... mini-agents.
AND kids?! *faints*

Nat: *who apparently knew about Clint and his family* *to Laura* How's baby Natasha going?
Laura: Oh, it's baby Nathaniel.
Nat: *leans down to whisper to Laura's stomach* Traitor.
*laughs for a good five minutes*

Cap: *splits wood with bare hands* Every time someone tries to stop a war before it starts, innocent people die. Every time.
Woah ... don't mess with Steve today...

Tony: *points to his tiny pile of wood* Don't touch my pile.
You're both absolutely ridiculous. XD

Tony: *trying to fix a tractor* Hello, dear. I wonder what I can do for you?
Nick Fury: Here's a hint: don't bring it to life.
Woah, where in the name of jellybeans did you come from?

Ultron: *takes the stone out of Loki's sceptre*
OH MY GOSH, IT'S AN INFINITY STONE. O_O

Ultron: Like the human saying goes, what doesn't kill you... *gets torn to pieces by another Ultron* ...will make me stronger!
What in the name of Loki and Thranduil's fabulousness?!

Jarvis: *starts speaking*
JARVIS! You're alive! *squee*

Tony: *tries to convince Bruce to help him put Jarvis in the body*
Tony, you're an idiot.

The Vision: *turns out to be a success*
Tony, you're not an idiot.

Hulk: *leaps onto Ultron's jet and sneaks up behind him*
Ultron: Oh, for God's sake! *gets beaten up and thrown out*
Flashback to the first movie...
Loki: I am a GOD.
Hulk: *smashes him on the ground a few times* Puny god.

Clint: The city is flying and we're fighting an army of robots. And I have a bow and arrow. Nothing makes sense!
Well, when you put it that way...

Clint: *to Wanda* If you step out that door, you're an Avenger.
*at the end of the movie* *pushes the cinema doors open dramatically* I AM AN AVENGER.

Nat: *to Bruce* I adore you... *kisses him*
*sits there not knowing whether to ship them or not*
Nat: *suddenly pushes him off the cliff* ...but I need the other guy.
Hulk: *jumps on cliff*
Yup, I ship it.

Pietro: Keep up, old man! *speeds off with Wanda*
Clint: No one would know, no one would know... *starts jogging after them* "Last I saw, Ultron was sitting on him, the bastard will be dearly missed, I miss him already!"
How can this movie be so perfect?

Cap: You get hurt, hurt 'em back. You get killed ... walk it off.
That's ... very interesting advice ... thank you Cap... •_•

The Vision: *casually picks up Thor's hammer and hands it to him*
Does this mean the Vision gets to rule Asgard? O_O

Thor: That the best you can do?
Ultron: *laughs and summons more drones* THIS is the best I can do. This is what I've been waiting for. All of you against all of me!
Cap: You had to ask...
Darn it, Thor!

Cap: *relieved* Nick Fury, you son of a *beep*!
Nick Fury: Whoa-ho-ho! You kiss your mother with that mouth?
Some Nick Fury sass - just what I needed.

Pietro: *sacrifices himself for Clint*
Wanda: *starts screaming*
OH MY GOODNESS. NO. *cries*

Ultron: Wanda, if you stay here you'll die.
Wanda: I've already died. Do you want to know how it felt? *rips out Ultron's metal heart* That's how it felt.
That was a little freaky, but I'm still upset that her brother died. She had every right to kill Ultron then and there. Now if you need me, I'll be sitting in this corner bawling my eyes out.

Ultron: You're unbelievably naïve.
The Vision: Well, I was born yesterday.
Boom.

Cap: But if you put the hammer in an elevator?
Tony: It'll still go up.
Cap: Elevator's not worthy.
These two are crazy.

Thanos: Fine, I'll do it myself.
OH MY GOOOOOOSH! *dies*

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

So apparently Thanos has decided to get off his royal rump and actually do something for once. Like, seriously, he could've easily destroyed Xandar in Guardians of the Galaxy, yet he sent a blue and much more evil Thranduil to do it for him. AND HE FAILED.

Thanos needs to seriously rethink things.

Anyway, I absolutely loved the movie. I was really devastated by Natasha's past. It must've been terrible! She'd kill an innocent person, her coach would call her sloppy and then she'd have to do it again and again. The poor thing. And then what they do to her at graduation? I wanted to cry. But then again, it does make the whole Brucetasha thing work...

Anyways, if you haven't seen the movie, then why are you reading this? Um, SPOILERS! Go watch the movie now! :D

Also comment your reactions to the movie! You can leave inline comments to the quotes above too!

Just one question about the movie: how can the Vision fly? Like ... how?

Oh well, they're all pretty awesome.

Stay awesome my little Ultron drones! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Wait, what did I just say?