Mature. Viewer Discretion is advised.
*The people inside of this work are FACE-CLAIMS. This has no correlation to any IRL individual.*
*This is messy plot. Made when I was a teen. Beware.*
The story of a young woman who finds her style, self worth...
"The sun is hidden behind the clouds. The sun goes down, I see it fall..." ♫ No, the moon by Teen Suicide. + Bold text is Harlow's narration of the story. + TW: Homophobia, mention of self harm.
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"So, did you give some thought to our conversation previous sessions?"
It was nine in the morning when I sat down on the same stale, orange cream couch I had been visiting once every week. Another day of tearing my fucking brain to shreds, but this time I felt better about it because...
"Yeah. Yeah, I did. And... I think you're wrong."
"Wouldn't be the first time. About what though? Give me specifics, let me know what you're thinkin'."
"I'm not in love with Niko." I declared.
Cheyenne nodded, a small smile teasing her lips.
"I... I was. That part is true. I do think the teenager in me will always love him that way. But, what I was--what I am, what I'll always be, is afraid," I explained, confident for once in my answer and my feelings.
"Afraid of what?"
"The way Niko and I grew up, being gay was a big, big, no-no. Huge. Conversion therapy and ship you off to the woods to live there until you're straight, bad." I spun the ring on my finger, "The environment we grew up around, there was so much guilt from church, from school, from Niko's parents, from everything and I think... no, I know, that the reason I hate the idea of being in love with Niko so much isn't because I still am?"
Cheyenne looked like she already knew what I was gonna say.
"It's because I'm still afraid that being myself, being..." I swallowed down the tingling in my throat, "Gay-- that being feminine, liking men... is a bad thing."
She kept quiet and let me talk.
"N' it's been that way since the day I found out," I smiled down at my hands from a glimpse of the memory, "Summer, 2003..."
August | 03'
"Harlow dear, where are you off to?"
Right before I could get out of the house; my hand still squeezing the doorknob, my mum called out for me, stopping me in my tracks.
My eyes squeezed shut and my converse squeaked on the ground, "Rats."
"I think it was early August. I was on my way out the door to go to Niko's house like I did almost every day that entire summer, every summer."
"But, my mum, however insane, was a worrier. Kinda like me. Not to mention, the nosiest women I've ever fucking known."
I turned around abruptly, spinning on my toes, "I'm just going around the block to Niko's. Is that okay? I'll be home in time for dinner, I promise."
