Escape

Decisions

As you could imagine, I had made a decision last night. A big one. It was one of those that seemed so simple; stay or go. No big deal?

But the repercussions of either of those could be huge.

Of course with every decision, there never seems to be enough time. They could come inside at any moment and take that choice from me. Also, I don't know if you know this, but the sun still rises everyday, actually growing closer by the second. Which would also take the choice from me.

Not making a decision is a decision.

I'm an adult. I've been making decisions for a long time. Sure, I've made mistakes. Plenty of them. This could be a big one. Does that worry me? Absolutely. Did I still have to make a decision? Unfortunately.

Did I stay frozen for longer than I should have? Oh, for sure.

I did ask you what to do.

There were so many aspects that plagued my mind. This was my out. I could leave and they wouldn't be surprised. I could leave and this would all be easier.

But would it really? I would miss my siblings. And I crave Lena's touch and attention. What would I do without her? What if I already lost her?

Of course all of this was bigger than my relationship with Lena and my family; no matter how important they have seemed to become. Nat deserves my full support and effort in finding her. I don't let trivial personal matters interfere with my mission.

But this isn't just trivial. And Yelena is Nat's sister. I do care. Tremendously.

See what I mean? My mind had me in circles.

What was my deciding factor, you ask?

Simple.

It was 3 am and I was tired.

So, I stayed.

Maybe if I could teleport..

Before sneaking inside, I hid my bike. Just cause.. it was a last second panic thing.

I slept in, well, sort of. I hardly slept. I've apparently grown so accustomed to sleeping with Lena that I need her by me to actually sleep.

Who knew you could become so dependent on someone. It may not be a good sign, but it doesn't make it any less true. And.. I'm not really mad about it. I love her.

This is why love sucks.

Despite being cast aside for some person I don't know, I can't stay mad. Not at her.

Ugh. I can do this. I can go down there and face them. I just need a decent outfit.. or sweatpants? No. No. I don't think it matters.

Wear what I'm comfortable in.

Walk down the stairs like nothing bothers you.

I do. I walk right past them talking and laughing at the table. Until they see me and go silent.

I grab the bowl of blueberries and a water, turning around with a great big smile. "So, what's the plan for today? Meeting in the kitchen again? Great. Let me know when, I'll be there." I pop a blueberry in my mouth. Not as smooth as I'd hoped, but oh well. I'm walking back upstairs. That was enough forced silvery for now.

"Dani! We can talk now if you want!" I roll my eyes. The literal last person that I wanted to call me back.

Smile through the pain, "sure. Sounds great."

Lila gives me a hug and asked me to play later, which I agree to. I ask her to take Fanny out to play while she waits for me.

I sit down as far away from everyone as possible. Lena is trying to make eye contact with me, but I don't think I could make it through that right now.