Escape

I Can Scream Louder Than You Can

Nothing like getting 3 hours of sleep after a long mission. I'm telling you, you will feel absolutely exhausted. You'll want to go to bed and sleep for days on end. But, it won't happen. You'll be so wired, your brain going in every direction trying to figure out what you did wrong or could have done differently or what your next move should be.. that you will hardly sleep a wink.

It's a uh, perk of the job, you could say.

But that is why I am currently half dead in only a.. T-shirt in the kitchen trying to get myself something to wake me up.

I decide on some fruit and some vodka. 'Cause, why not? I'm a grown ass adult.

I lean back in one chair and throw my legs up on the table, throwing a berry in my mouth and closing my eyes.

"Danielle."

I slowly open my eyes to reveal Laura. Just great.

"Good morning to you, too," I answer closing my eyes once again.

Then my legs are shoved off the table and falling onto the floor, forcing me to open my eyes, "what the hell?!"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did I ruin your moment? I was just trying to talk with you and you ignore me immediately," Laura stands in front of me crossing her arms.

"I literally said good morning to you."

"Right. Sure. Just keep going along like you don't need anyone. Seems you've been getting along just fine that way."

"Yeah. Actually, I have. I'd say thanks to you, but I don't want to give you any credit."

"Get off your high horse, Danielle."

"What is your problem?" I seethe.

"Don't come at me with your attitude. You know what my problem is," she has the audacity to point her finger at me.

"No, actually, I don't. I never understood what your problem was with me. And you never gave enough of a shit to explain."

"Come on, Danielle. I tried. We tried. And now you're here and you still can't put in the effort!"

Oh, this bitch. "I'm not putting in the effort?! I was gone for years and not once could you have been bothered to try to contact me or make sure I was okay. Now I'm back. And I'm enjoying the time with my siblings. You haven't tried, why should I?"

"Again? This is your tactic? How do I know you'd even talk to me? I don't know if I'm going to get the side of you that Lila gets to see or the side you seem to save just for me."

I roll my eyes, "right. Maybe as a PARENT, you should make an effort with your kids. ALL of your kids. Or did you forget you have 4 of them? I'm a big sister, so I'm acting like one. I want to be there for the kids, but that doesn't mean I have to put up with you, too."

"That's really rich when you're staying in my house and you're my daughter."

"Am I? Because you and Clint were all so good at acting like I was the black sheep."

"You made yourself the black sheep!"

"Yes. Because I liked the feeling that I was never good enough for you or Clint. No matter how much I trained or how perfect of a shot I became, it was never enough. I was never enough. It was always Cooper and his baseball game or Lila was crying and needed you."

"Don't you dare put this on me and your father. Or the kids. You are the reason you left and you alone. We never forced you out."

I scoff, getting up and moving right in front of her in a flash, "funny how you ignored the part about me not being good enough for you. And don't kid yourself, Laura. You and Clint made it beyond obvious who your priority was. They were born and I was forgotten. Pretty fucked up way for a kid to have to live, but the message was received loud and clear. I was right there! I helped with the kids every chance I got because I love them. Of course that was also the only way I was noticed. Do you know what that does to a kid? Seeing your parents love their kids.. but not being one of them?"