The Broken Souls (Beyond the love)

87. The Love we feel

I pulled back my hand from him and walked away from here. My eyes were welled up in tears and heart was feeling heavy when I was running to the upstairs. Cold breeze touched to my face when I reached the terrace. I feel the coldness under my palm when I hold the railing. The whole village was looking beautiful with the dim lights of the houses and fields around them.

Suddenly pair of arms encircled around my waist. A lone tear escape from my left eye and I closed my eyes when he put his chin on my right shoulder.

"I miss this, being you in my arms." He whispered in my ear and kissed on my cheek.

I broked into tears.

"Stop lying.. " I removed his arms from my waist and turn to him. I made a distance between us. My vision get blurred when pools of tears leave from my eyes while he was looking at me with concern. I was about to leave when he hold my wrist and stopped me.

"Aditi, Listen to me first..."

"After ignoring me for almost three months, leaving me for two months without saying anything, you are saying that you missed me?" I asked him with tears in my eyes. Anger was filling in them.

"I have reasons..." Anger was developing in his eyes.

"Then share with me...." I looked at him with same rage. But he didn't dpeak a word.

"Everytime you leave me with just one fucking letter. I know we both are fucked and have a shit past. I am not asking you to share it with me until you get comfortable. But its us now. We both are married and I am trying from the bottom of my heart to make it work but you are not supporting." I shouted on him.

"I am trying too...." He greeted his teeth and fisted his hands.

"You are trying?....You ignored me for three months. You were always aware of my feelings towards you. I was alone of all my life but I never feel lonely like this before. My life was shit but you came and I married a man of my dream. But you proved that our marriage was forced." My voice was loud when I was speaking. I was hurt by his actions.

"Our marriage maybe forced but I want you as much as you want me." Rage was reflecting from his eyes. My wrist was still on his hold.

"No you don't want me. If you want me you didn't leave me for two months here. You didn't even call me."

"I was scared...I was scared of loosing you. When that basterd stood there raising his sword and was about to attack on you....My heart stopped beating, I thought I would die if something happened to you. I have already loose someone close to my heart and I don't want to loose you. I make my distance from you because my mind wasn't working properly. I don't want to hurt you in this process." He speak through his greeted his. His eyes were hard and fill with rage.

"But you hurt me." Again fat tears leave from my eyes. His eyes turned soft and guilt filled in them. He raised his hand and wiped off my tears but I pulled back my hand from his hold nd ran away from there while he was calling for me asking forgiveness but I didn't stop.

*****

Party was over and everyone lied on their charpayi on the terrace. Today no one was up for late at night as everyone tired from dancing and parting. But I was still awake and I don't know where my husband is. He leave the house after we fight. We both didn't have our dinner. I also didn't changed my clothes and just lied down on the charpayi but my mind was keep going to him. I am mad at him but I feel bad for him after he gave me the reason that he was scared for me and don't want to loose me.

We both are going through a mentally trauma. We both have insecurities and communication gap between us make it difficult for both of us. If I were in his place, I may did the same. I also get scare if I were in Dhruv place but I missed him and what he did, hurts me.