DESPEDIDA GONE WRONG. What's supposed to be a memorable send-off party ends up in tragedy as the celebrant drops dead after making a toast. Of all the possibilities, murder seems to be most likely scenario. And the suspects? The four attendees who w...
TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter contains some details that might be disturbing to some readers, including, but not limited to, references to sex and drug use.
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BEATRICE
LAST TONIGHT, I lost a mentor, a confidant. Today, that reality had not sunk in. When I was being interviewed in the police station, I was still in denial. I saw what happened with my very own eyes, but I was wishing that everything's just a cruel joke played on us by Sir Zafra.
But I did not cry last night. Nor did I cry this morning. I had not lost someone so important in my life, so I did not know how to grieve. They said that everyone had their own way of expressing grief. Maybe this was mine. Being on autopilot the whole day. Being numb to almost everything. Natapakan na ang sapatos ko, natapunan na ako ng mainit na coffee, muntik na akong masagasaan sa daan, pero wala akong naramdaman.
Sinubukan kong umiyak sa girl's comfort room habang naka-break kami kanina. Pero kahit anong pilit ko, walang luha na tumulo. That added to my frustrations. Why couldn't I feel anything? Why couldn't I cry for a person who was important to me?
I could not do anything else so I decided to do what I usually do. Read my notes. Do our seatworks. Eat at lunchtime. Go to the student council office.
I sat on my own desk and stared at the envelope that was lying there. I had always consulted my decisions and my opinion with Sir Zafra. Sometimes I was not that confident with what I was doing, so I needed someone to validate my feelings. I found that satisfaction on sir. But he was not a yes-man or a passive listener. There were times that his opinion was against mine, and he made me realize that my position might be wrong.
Binuksan ko ang envelope na nakapatong sa desk ko at sinilip ang laman nito. These were copies of the results where Coleman Cortez and some of his fellow basketball players tested positive for drug use. I still had no idea who left this in the student council office and addressed it to me. Unang akala ko nga'y baka si Sir Zafra mismo ang may gawa. But after hearing his side this weekend, I dismissed the possibility.
The last thing that Sir and I talked about was what to do with this document. He did not give me an outright answer. He presented two sides. I could go after the varsity players and be remembered as the officer who deprived us the chance to make a comeback in the inter-school tournament. Or I could dismiss this anonymous tip and let them play and represent our university, hoping that they would bring glory.
If I had known that would be our last discussion, I would have chosen another topic.
So what should I do? Wala na akong mahihingan ng advice. Wala na akong masasandigan kapag confused ako sa isang bagay. I was on my own now. No one was going to validate or challenge my opinion.
