DESPEDIDA GONE WRONG. What's supposed to be a memorable send-off party ends up in tragedy as the celebrant drops dead after making a toast. Of all the possibilities, murder seems to be most likely scenario. And the suspects? The four attendees who w...
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ANASTACIA
LAST NIGHT was one of the most heartbreaking moments for me. Noong nasa police station kami, hindi ko pa tuluyang ramdam ang sakit. Pero noong sinundo na ako ni mommy at inihatid sa bahay, doon na walang tigil na bumuhos ang mga luha ko.
Zack is gone. That's the reality I had to accept. I wouldn't see him again. I wouldn't hear his voice again. I wouldn't see the smile that could brighten up my day. I wouldn't catch a glimpse of him in the audience watching me perform on stage.
Masakit isipin, pero kailangang tanggapin. Wala na talaga siya.
Hindi ako nakatulog nang maayos. I was crying the whole night in my room. Basang-basa na ang unan ko. Nagising ko ang mommy ko na nasa kabilang room. She went to my room, gave me a tight hug and tried to soothe me. But no words could uplift my feelings or unease the burden in my heart. The thought of not seeing Zack again was so devastating, parang nawalan ako ng ganang pumasok kinabukasan.
Some might think that I was exaggerating my feelings, but those who hadn't experienced loss wouldn't understand how it felt. They wouldn't know of the void that a special someone's death could leave in our lives. Hindi ko na nga alam kung ano ang mas masakit: ang makasama at ma-witness mismo na lagutan ng hininga si Zack, o ang malaman na lang kinabukasan na wala na siya.
Hanggang sa paggising ko sa umaga, namumugto pa rin ang mga mata ko. I took an early shower today since I wasn't able to change my clothes last night. The water rolled down with my tears on my cheeks. Mas matagal pa yata ang pag-iyak ko kaysa sa pagligo ko.
The sun was already up, but everything seemed cloudy to me. Gray. In monotone. Sad. Kung wala kaming meeting ngayon para sa theater production namin, hindi ko na iisiping pumasok pa. Bibigyan ko ang sarili ko ng oras para magluksa. But Iife goes on, as they always say. Hindi titigil ang mundo dahil sa pagpanaw ng isang importanteng tao sa buhay natin. We needed to face tomorrow.
And that's what I'd try to do today and in the next few days.
Sinundo ako ni Cole sa house namin. Pansin ko rin sa kanya na mukhang hindi siya mahimbing na nakatulog kagabi. Mas malalim pa yata ang eyebags niya sa 'kin. We greeted each other good morning, but we knew deep inside that there's nothing good today. We were in mourning.
Hanggang sa sasakyan niya, ramdam kong wala kami sa mood na makipag-usap sa isa't isa. Tahimik siyang nag-drive mula sa bahay hanggang sa makarating kami sa parking lot ng campus. I was snifling and wiping my eyes and nose throughout the trip. 'Di ko kasi napigilang maluha ulit kapag naaalala ang masakit na katotohanan. He didn't ask me kung okay lang ba ako dahil obvious na hindi.
"We're here," he said, turning off the engine. Humarap siya sa 'kin. "Sabay na tayong mag-lunch mamaya?"
Nagawi ang tingin ko sa kanya bago ako yumuko. "Parang wala akong ganang kumain ngayon. Hindi nga ako nag-breakfast kanina sa bahay."
