Lesbian Oneshot

Izzy x Fern Incorrect Quotes

Izzy: Fern was banned from the chicken shack, so we had to go out of town to get some.

Fern: Well, they shouldn't say "all you can eat" if they don't mean it.

Izzy: Fern, you ate a chair.

Izzy: Am I in trouble?

Fern: Take a guess.

Izzy: No?

Fern: Take another guess.

Izzy: Date someone who will drag you outside at 3am to look at the stars.

Fern: If anyone, and I mean anyone, wakes me up at 3am to go look at the damn sky they will be removed indefinitely from my life.

Izzy: *Gets down on one knee*

Fern: Oh my god, it's finally happening.

Izzy: *Falls over*

Fern: The poison is kicking in.

Izzy: Three words. Say them and I'm yours.

Fern: Three words.

Izzy:

Izzy: Today is a day of running through hurdles.

Fern: Aren't you supposed to jump OVER hurdles?

Izzy: Whatever. Fear is only something to be afraid of if you let it scare you.

Fern: You know, not every problem can be solved with a sword.

Izzy: That's why I carry two swords.

Izzy: You love me, right, Fern?

Fern: Normally, I'd say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don't like it.

Izzy: Fern and I don't use pet names.

Adrian: I see. Hey, what do bees make?

Izzy: Honey?

Fern: Yes, dear?

Izzy:

Adrian: Don't ever lie to my face again.

Store Worker: Would a Ms. Izzy please come to the front desk?

Izzy, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker: *points to Fern and Adrian*

Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?

Fern and Adrian, simultaneously: We got lost :(

Izzy: I didn't even bring you guys here with me-

Izzy: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?

Fern: The car takes a screenshot.

Adrian: For the last time, get the fuck out.

Izzy, texting Fern: Fern! Help I'm being kidnapped

Fern: Where are you?

Izzy: I'm with some strange person. In a car. Help.

Fern: I'll call Adrian.

Adrian, answering he's cellphone: Hello?

Fern: Where's Izzy? She texted me that she was being kidnapped.

Adrian: Izzy? What do you mean, she's right next to me-

Adrian:

Adrian: I'll call you back. *hangs up*

Adrian: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN'T THAT BAD!

Izzy: WHO ARE YOU?!

Izzy: Are you sure this is the right direction?

Fern: Certainly, I'm as sure as I am honest!

Adrian: In that case, we're definitely lost.

Izzy, trying to ask Fern out: Would you like to stay for dinner?

Adrian: WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER?

Izzy: Fern and I are having a baby.

Adrian: That's gre-

Izzy, slamming the adoption papers on the table: It's you, sign here.

Izzy: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three-

Izzy and Fern, in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks!

Javi: Our turn, Amelia! One, two, three- vanilla!

Amelia, deadpan: I've never had cake, what is cake.

Cop: You're receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.

Izzy: Shit.

Fern: Wait, three?

Cop: Yeah?

Amelia: OH MY GOD JAVI FELL OFF!!!

Izzy: Why are your tongues purple?

Javi: We had slushies. I had a blue one.

Amelia: I had a red one.

Izzy: oh

Izzy:

Izzy: OH

Fern:

Fern: You drank each other's slushies?