Penguins of Madagascar: Moving Situations

Chapter Twenty-Five

Kowalski
At 4am I don't go to bed like I have been lately. Instead I throw my suitcase onto my bed, haphazardly throwing my clothes into it. I add my electronics into my satchel and place the note on my desk where it will be easily noticed. Anything not essential – especially my now worthless science junk – I leave behind. Maybe they can donate it or something? I don't care. I am beyond caring at this point. My vision blurs and I feel everything sway for the umpteenth time. Maybe I should rest but I can't stay here any longer. It hurts to even think about being in this place!

I head to the kitchen and put the kettle onto boil, grabbing my thermos and placing a teabag in it. It is going to be a long drive to...to nowhere planned, really. Somewhere far away. Somewhere where I won't keep being a burden. The sound of it boiling makes my head throb and everything blurs again. I consider taking some food but one look at it makes my stomach twist and for one dreadful moment I feel like I'm going to be sick. I quickly shut the cupboard and sip slowly at water, hoping it somewhat does something. I still feel sick but it at least fades slightly.

The sudden sound of the door opening makes me jump out of my skin and I turn around to see Skipper.
"Kowalski? What are you doing up?" Skipper asks, leaning against the kitchen counter and pouring himself a coffee.
"Couldn't get back to sleep," I lie. I didn't even try. How much sleep am I even averaging a night at the moment? Two hours? Less?
"Well...want to join me for a bit planning training exercises?" he asks. No. I need to leave! I bite back a groan, aware this is going to push me back a day but nod.
"Just give me a moment," I say. I go back to my room, quickly shoving my case under my bed. They cannot know what I am doing until I am far far away.

                                             -----------------------------------------

"You need to eat."
"I'm not hungry."
"Kowalski, I am serious."
"I don't want any!"
"Kowalski!"

Skipper and I go back and forth as my bacon sandwich slowly goes cold. My arms are crossed resolutely over my chest, the smell of the bacon sandwich vile and making the urge to throw up return even more than usual. I scarcely managed to keep down my piece of toast at breakfast and this is something a lot more strong.
"Kowalski, we are doing more outdoor training: you need the energy," Skipper says.
"I am not hungry," I repeat, glaring at the sandwich.
"Kowalski!" he says, voice bordering on a shout. I flinch and give in, picking it up and taking a bite. I force myself to swallow and my stomach churns in disagreement.

Don't be sick. Don't be sick.

I manage to finish and I get up.
"Let me know when we're training," I mutter. As soon as I am out I sprint to the bathroom, making it to the toilet just in time to be sick.

My head feels worse than ever and I can scarcely see straight. The buzzing won't leave the back of my mind and I feel too hot and cold at once. I rest my head against the cool wall of the bathroom. I see stars on my vision and shake my head slightly, trying to clear it. I just need to get through training and wait until everyone has gone to sleep. Then I can leave.

I stand, half staggering, heading outside because I know it is bound to be training soon. The cool air and the thick snow do nothing to clear my head and the light causes me to almost black out. Don't be weak. Don't be weak.

The others come back and I take a small step away from Gale who is shooting me his usual malevolent look.
"We're going to start by running laps," Skipper says. "Well. You are. I am timing to see if any of you beat your scores." We head over the start line placed in the snow but I am aware that I can barely see where the track is. In fact it is so blurry that there are three or four with each blink. My breathing hurts. My head hurts. My joints hurt. It's just a few laps though. I can cope. I can cope. I have to cope.