Penguins of Madagascar: Moving Situations

Chapter Twenty-Three

Finally an update! XD

Skipper
Yet another few weeks have passed since Kowalski's outburst: I have tried to talk to him only to be brushed off. I suggested we get his favourite for takeout: he didn't care. I suggested a movie that I knew he liked and he skipped it for extra training of all things. He has become much quieter but there has been a slight improvement to his skills in training. He still looses every time but it is taking more time but with how much our friendship has derailed I am starting to doubt it is worth it despite Gale's insistence. It's breakfast time and instead of his usual tea, for the last few days, Kowalski has been having a large strong coffee.
"We're all going on a training exercise today," I announce. From the corner of my eye I glance at Kowalski waiting for disappointment. I am met with only apathy.
"What's the exercise?" Gale asks me.
"A survival task in the woods," I reply. "Focusing on orienteering."

Again I give Kowalski a side-look waiting for a sigh because he has always preferred cities. He doesn't even react, sipping at his coffee. He is on the last week of his ban from inventing and is still yet to do it behind my back again as far as I know. Of course it is entirely possible that he is managing to be more discreet about it and I am not going out of my way to catch him in the act. If I extend his ban again what the heck will happen to him? He may stop talking all together! What would I do them?
"I paid someone to sort out the route so I could participate," I add. "Rico, Private, Gale you are one group. Kowalski, you're with me." Hopefully that will merit some enthusiasm, Kowalski and I have often worked together and he always seemed happy about it in the past. He still doesn't emote: I only receive a nonchalant shrug. I sigh. For a while it looked possible that if I asked him out then things may go well: now I don't think he even considers me a friend.

Everyone heads to get ready, Kowalski clearing the plates as he goes.
"You don't have to do that," I say. "I'm already ready so I will."
"Okay," he says, not bothering to protest or say he doesn't mind. He simply walks off. I stare after him. Gale said he should snap back to normal soon but that was weeks ago. If anything he is getting worse... I miss my old scientist...Not that he was mine or anything! I rub the crease between my brows. This is headache inducing. I am still going full force in training but have stopped saying things so harsh: it was bad enough seeing the rejection and hurt across his features. It is somehow even worse that now he simply accepts everything I say as nothing more than fact.

Once everyone is back we take the reasonably long journey to the large woods.
"In case you get lost here is an emergency flare," I say, passing it to Rico. "The aim of the task is to follow the clues – we have different ones – and make it to a certain clearing within six hours. Everything clear?"
"Yup!" Private chirps. The other three nod. "Kowalski, ready to beat them?" He gives me an unenthusiastic nod.

We start heading left and for a while we can still hear snippets of cheerful conversation from the other group. We remain silent. Every now and then I try to make conversation but before I can get words out Kowalski's expressionless concentration stops me.
"Um...What invention are you going to work on when your ban runs out?" I finally ask, waiting to not understand a word he is saying from his adorable science babble. He simply gives me a loose shrug. "C'mon, you can at least talk to me!" I sound angrier than I mean to but this is getting irritating.
"Fine," he replies. Again with the one word answers. Fine then. I'll ask an open question.
"So what do you think of this exercise? Could anything be improved?"
"It's fine. It probably doesn't need improving," he says, shortly.
"Are you enjoying it?" I press.
"Not really," he replies. "So should we just get on with it?" Without waiting for an answer he begins to walk faster. I hesitate then, with a slight headshake, follow.

Kowalski is good at this – better than me even – and so within four hours we are at the clearing. So we win but that gives us several hours' awkward silence. Great.
"Kowalski...Is something going on?" I ask. That merits some response: a slight flinch.
"No. Everything is fine," he replies but he is obviously lying. I decide to repeat a question I asked several months ago.
"Kowalski...You know if something was going on you could tell me right? You can trust me." Before he agreed so I wait eagerly for there to be at least a spark of that.
"No I can't," he mutters, looking away from me with a listless expression.

A lump fills my voice and I bite back the tears that threaten to fall. Is that how bad things have become?
"Kowalski..." I say, voice pleading. He looks up at me with a distrustful expression. "You used to trust me."
"Exactly," he mutters. My shoulders slump and I fall silent. There is nothing left to say.

Kowalski
Once Skipper isn't looking I let my carefully expressionless mask fall. This is exhausting but if I cut off all relations then maybe it won't hurt when Skipper says things. Who am I kidding? It still hurts. I pick blades of grass my the fistful, looking for any kind of distraction.

What I don't understand is why I still have a crush on Skipper, if that is what I am going to call it. He is making me miserable but it's impossible to get over him. I wish I hadn't had the team exercise with Skipper. It is making it so much harder to hide my feelings and act like everything is fine when really I spend most days questioning whether or not I should remain in the group or simply quit but I can't let Skipper find that out. Even though he finds me useless he probably would try to stop me and I am not sure I want to be stopped. I suppose though the good thing that being put with Skipper is that I am not alone with Gale any more than I already I am.

The thought makes me run my thumb along the bruise on my wrist from where I was slammed against the wall. This time was more my fault though: I told him no and that never ends well. Plus it's only me he has an issue with which says a lot... That is certainly a sign that...I try to push the thought from my mind and pluck a daisy, picking petal by petal. I hope the others hurry up and arrive: this is a painfully awkward silence and only serves as a reminder that I used to be closer to Skipper than anyone else but now it is just painful and slightly dark.

It is coming up to the six hour mark when the other three arrive, looking rather frazzled from their time in the woods.
"Dang it you two won..." Rico commented. "What's the consequence?"
"You are paying for dinner!" Skipper said, grinning slightly. The loosing trio sigh but there are no protests. It's better than having extra toilet cleaning duty I suppose.
"Kowalski, where do you wanna go?" Rico asks me.
"Don't care really," I mutter, trying not to glare at him. I am still furious at him for snitching, even if it is for the better that I have now quit inventing, because I have been covering for him for years when he gets things blown up. Even so I feel bad when I see a flicker of sadness.

The others begin to discuss what to have for tea but I tune them out, again mulling over whether I should leave. What good do I actually do for the team? I am no longer an inventor and it isn't like being good at maths will do anyone any good. Plus Emmett – my bully from school – is now in Blowhole's team and me having personal conflict could just cause more danger. Plus if I leave I won't get hurt anymore. Not by people's comments and not by being Gale's personal punch bag.

"Kowalski, curry okay?" Skipper says, distracting my thoughts. I nod absentmindedly, still mulling over it as we head to the car. Maybe I should leave. I don't know what I would so instead – certainly not work in customer service – but the idea of being without them (especially Skipper) makes my heart pang slightly. If things carry on like this, though, I will leave: I don't think I can carry on living like this when it is such a painful experience day by day.

Even if it means saying goodbye to Skipper.