Stories in the Saiki K Universe

Saiki K Has a Girlfriend... (Oh, Wow)

My name is Kusuo Saiki, and yes, you read that title correctly. I have a girlfriend now. No hypnosis. No clones. No other tricks. I actually have a girlfriend. Since the moment Mikoto Aiura arrived at PK Academy, I knew she was trouble. Like me, she was born with special abilities. She's gifted with a strong sense of precognition, clairvoyance, awareness of auras, a mild form of telepathy, and... just being honest with myself... the uncanny ability to break down my walls so I can be who I am...

It's actually amazing because I typically don't like people this much, not even my parents. I'm actually comfortable enough to share my thoughts with Aiura. I never felt that way with Teruhashi or any of the other girls. Not with Akechi either, as much as that would be his dream-come-true. For anybody who knows Aiura, it's obvious that she's sometimes obnoxious and over-the-top, but she's like a small diet cup of annoyance compared to the others. They're super-sized gallon servings of frustration, irritation, and exhaustion.

With Aiura, I can be Kusuo. I can be Saiki with my friends, but with her, I'm Kusuo. Meanwhile, Teruhashi always had a vision of me that wasn't real. So did Yumehara. So did plenty of others. Let's just call that version of me "Kunio." Good grief, even Kaidou, my grandfather, and my cat saw their own versions of Kunio, too. They didn't see the real me. As much as it's great for laughs, it's not great for anything else.

So Aiura's my girlfriend, and honestly nothing has really changed -- well except that a certain prominent student seems to hate her now. And no, I'm not talking about Saiko Metori, as prominent as he thinks he is... I never meant for that to happen, and I'm sure Aiura didn't expect it either....

AIURA
(yelling at someone down the hallway)
Oh yeah?... Wait'll you hear what your mommy was doing last night with the Amazon delivery guy!... Yeah, last night!... Maybe he's your real dad!...

RIFUTA
(pulling AIURA down the hall)
Aiura!... Get a hold of yourself!... That girl is in her first year. She doesn't even know what's happening!

AIURA
(fuming and pointing down the hallway)
She looked at me!... That first-year brat!... Why would she look at me like that?!

SAIKI
(walking up to AIURA and RIFUTA)
[This sounds like the start of World War III].

KAIDOU
(suddenly appearing)
Hey, Saiki!... Clearly our friend Aiura is distressed!... She's usually so cool and calm!... well, in a loud and obnoxious sort of way... but never this upset though.... (clutching his arm)... This must be the work of --

AIURA
(seething with anger and glaring at KAIDOU)
If you say "DARK REUNION," I'm going to punch you so hard in that little head of yours, your children will feel it!

KAIDOU
(eyes widening, extremely happy)
Children?... I'm going to have children?... I wonder who the mother will be... It'll probably be a masked superheroine, the perfect match for THE JET BLACK WINGS!...

AIURA
(lunging at KAIDOU)
Stuff a sock in it, you crazy chuunibyo!

SAIKI
[I'm glad somebody finally said it...]

RIFUTA
(pulling AIURA away from KAIDOU)
Aiura, you have to stop lashing out at your friends like this!

AIURA
(looking at everyone with suspicion)
Friends?.... Who are my friends?... Are you sure you're my friend? (looking at RIFUTA intently)... I can't even turn around without someone jamming a knife in my back!

SAIKI
[Good grief. This is already too dramatic for my taste. I wish I could go home].

RIFUTA
(looking at SAIKI with concern in her eyes)
Saiki, she really needs your help.