Bloodbound [Werewolf]

Chapter Three

"What in God's name was that, Evelyn? Wherever did my gentle and sensible daughter from the past go, leaving this heartless and cold creature in her place? How could you belittle Conan? I cannot figure out how you could humiliate your own mate-"

"FATHER, ENOUGH!" I roared into the empty space of the hall. My head pounded. My chest ached. My eyes stung. I needed to get outside and catch my breath. I couldn't allow my thoughts to be confined by these walls any longer. "Please, do not add to my distress right now. This was not supposed to happen."

He gave me an affronted look. "You dare say you can rule a kingdom when you cannot even handle having a mate? You should have seen your subjects! They despised your little performance. Only your sister had the heart to stay back to comfort poor Conan, and with her, the crowd followed suit. You had no one when she had everyone!"

Hearing that, my jaw tensed. I turned and threw him my iciest gaze — never had I in my life thought I could give my father, the Alpha king, such a look.

"Can you ever not compare me to my sister, Father? Did my efforts of being the dutiful first-born daughter mean little to you? I sacrificed that mate bond because I know love will only hinder my rule. Do you not see the lengths I go for this kingdom? Do you not see my sacrifice? Can you not relate to my burden of having people rely on me? Have their entire generation in my thoughts and plans with nothing left for my own?"

"Is that why you have become as you are?" He asked, tone conflicted.

"Yes." I admitted, sadness slipping out despite my best effort to push it down. "Being a ray of sunshine doesn't mean the people will obey. Many will see it as a weakness, take advantage of it, and I cannot be weak for that."

"Evelyn... the people will not listen to a tyrant. Rule with an iron fist, yes, but show humility. Be strong, but demonstrate a certain softness. Show them there is something to love, because I know, as your father, such a thing exists within you." He leaned forward, cupping my cheek with his hand. "Otherwise, dear, they will view you with resentment. Even the most loyal of dogs will not answer to cruel owners."

I slapped him away, glaring at him through teary vision. "That's where you're wrong. Tyrant or not, they will listen to me because this is my destiny. And you know what? You're right. I have no one. But for the longest time, I have thought that at least you can understand what I'm going through. Now, I have grown past the phase of self-pity and allowed loneliness to be my company. The people will follow me, as their next Alpha, even if it is created from their fear. I will make them."

I sucked in a jagged breath. For a few moments, my father just stared at me. Then, with a disappointed shake of his head, he left. I stood there, alone in the middle of the hall, as I listened the fading sound of his heavy footsteps, and despite my best effort to justify my actions, I felt a twang of guilt in my heart. I returned to my room in an attempt to clear my thoughts, but it caused me more stress as I heard the bustling sounds on the other side. Words of how discouraged my father was and how I have been such a heartless person to have been dishonoured the palace and Conan. I clenched my jaw, body trembling in burning hatred but not entirely sure who or what cause it.

What is me? Was I the problem?

Another wave of guilt came along with a rush of sadness. It was I that should feel dishonoured; it was I that should feel resentful with how the palace assumed as if I was nothing without my mate — that I held no meaning; to the throne, to the people, to my father.

I was competent, intellectually strategic. I could debate with the council and win, discuss treaty with other kingdoms and win them over, fight a war and return victorious. Where did 'mate' fit into any of that?

"Was having a mate the sole purpose of my existence, Mother?" I whispered, staring at the small, framed picture standing still in my vanity, venom complicating such a genuine question while my eyes watered. "If so, then why am I here?"

"Mother would be so heartbroken if she heard you say that."

I turned, alerted by the womanly figure standing by my now-ajar door, arms crossed and head tilted slightly. It was stupid of me to let my guard down knowing this vile wolf in a sheep's clothing would attack at my weakest without hesitation. I breathed out a muted sigh, fixed my posture, and shot her a cold stare -- one that told her she was not welcomed. However, she only giggled -- a taunting smirk spreading across her deceitfully angelic face before immediately mocking concern.

"I was worried-sick when you fled the ballroom. I thought you might've felt too anxious and spoke rashly because of it. I know you never meant those words, sister." She said it in an assuring tone as two maids walked past behind her, whispering; rushing on their feet, but wanting to eavesdrop. I sneered at her, finding it unusually humorous how she could go on lengths just to offend me. Ironically enough, it seemed to work now.

"I must say, you pulled such a spectacular show earlier. I was utterly amused — truly. I cannot begin to comprehend just how much hatred you have towards Conan for you to rip him apart and leave him degraded," Cienna remarked with a sickly sweet smile as she flipped her wavy red hair back. "Enlighten me, dear sister. How did it feel to reject your mate?"

"Leave, Cienna. I wish not to have this conversation with you for that matter," was my impassive reply. No use arguing with a person whose only aim was to irritate me further. Any more words exchanged would surely be used against me, and I could not afford to make a mess out of myself. Alas, persistence ran in the blood of Saurore.

"My, my. Have a struck a nerve?" Cienna's face turned devilish -- a sinister grin with a raised eyebrow that she would never risk showing anyone else. "Please, don't mind me that much, sister. I must have said words I did not mean to say. Oh, how rude of me to disrespect my all-knowing sister. Pardon me, Crowned Princess."

Unable to bear her not-so-subtle impolite comments, I pushed past her. The palace felt far too crammed now. So, I opted to storm into the grounds towards the vast forest for fresh air.

I could not recall the exact reason why my relationship with Cienna crumbled. But I remembered vividly her ways of trying to pull me down and make me the laughingstock of the palace. Elsewhere other than this seemingly shrinking walls would be better; I needed to breathe. Alas, by a twist of awful fate, I spotted Conan sitting alone, hunched back whilst hugging his knees. I was about to disregard his presence when a dull stench of burning coal travelled to my nostrils, make me scrunch my nose. 

"Can you be bothered concealing that moody scent of yours? It is making me feel more ill than I already am."

I took a surprised step back when he raised his head and locked my gaze. I refrained from gagging as the dull odour progressively turned into a stronger, deadly, bitter fragrance — but his look alone had already made me sick to my stomach. His wrath was tangible. He stood up, posture unrefined and clothing crumpled like some beggar. His eyes were swollen and red, and so was the tip of his nose. Dark hair unkempt unlike before; perhaps ruffled and tugged out of chagrin.

He did not say a single word, yet I knew and felt the recognizable thirst to avenge.

"I fear you not, Conan. You may glare at me all you want. Curse me into oblivion and send me straight to hell," I spoke, head held high despite the foreboding feeling in the pit of my stomach. "It will never change the fact that I do not recognize you as my mate. Never will I."

And that was the truth, or at least that was what I'd misled myself into thinking. Because it was not entirely fear that I felt, but an unnerving omen of something that was yet to exist.

I started walking towards the forest, his glares sending shivers down my spine. Pushing the unsettling feeling down, I reached the border of the forest. In me bloomed hesitation — a loud and clear uneasiness overpowering my reasoning as I looked back at the palace gates.

Mind in shambles, I exhaled a trembling breath before transforming into a wolf. There I allowed myself to get lost in the woods.

'He was no longer there and yet he haunted me like a malevolent ghost.'