habits, supernatural [ 1 ]

019. start of the end of the world

"Well, I wouldn't want to meet him in a dark alley, believe me." Bobby says. "He commands the heavenly host. During the last big dust up upstairs, he's the one who booted Lucifer's ass to the basement. Did it with that sword." He points to a sword in the painting. "So if we can find it..."

"We can kick the devil's ass all over again. All right. So, where do we start?" Sam asks.

"Divvy up and start reading. Try and make sense of Chuck's nonsense." Bobby says.

Sam gets up from where he's sitting and goes over to a pile of books.

"Kid? You all right?" Bobby asks, noticing Sam stop.

"No, actually. Bobby, Larissa, this is all my fault. I'm sorry." Sam says.

"Sam--" Dean tries to warn.

"Lilith did not break the final seal. Lilith was the final seal." Sam says.

"Sam, stop it." Dean says.

"I killed her, and I set Lucifer free." Sam states.

"You what?" Bobby asks.

"You guys warned me about Ruby, the demon blood, but I didn't listen. I brought this on." Sam says. Larissa looks at him sadly, not even able to imagine the amount of guilt he must be feeling.

Bobby gets up, walking closer to Sam.

"You're damn right you didn't listen. You were reckless and selfish and arrogant." Bobby says.

"I'm sorry." Sam says.

"Oh, yeah? You're sorry you started Armageddon? This kind of thing don't get forgiven, boy. If, by some miracle, we pull this off... I want you to lose my number. You understand me?"

"Bobby." Larissa says, looking at him surprised. She looks at Dean for help, but he stays silent.

Sam nods to Bobby's words.

"There's an old church nearby. Maybe I'll go read some of the lore books there." Sam says.

"Yeah. You do that." Bobby says.

Sam grabs his jacket and leaves the room.

"What the fuck? Am I the only sane one in your lives?" Larissa asks. She gets up and leaves the room. She looks down the hallway, but doesn't see Sam. "Why does he have to walk so fast?" She whines, jogging to try to find Sam.

"Hey." She softly calls, finding Sam, and she jogs to catch up to him. Sam turns and stops, waiting for her to reach him before continuing to walk again. "Thought you said you were okay." She tries to joke.

"Guess I just meant physically." Sam mumbles.

"I get that." Larissa says. "Not sure any of us are actually really, genuinely okay mentally." She comments. "But really, how... how are you?" She asks.

"Guess I could be better." Sam weakly chuckles.

"Anything you wanna talk about?" She asks.

"Do you really not blame me? Or-Or hate me?" Larissa asks.

"For being manipulated? No. That's something to blame and hate Ruby for, not you. For breaking the final seal? Did you know killing her was the final seal when you did it?" Larissa asks.

"No." Sam shakes his head.

"The no." Larissa says. "You thought you were doing the right thing, and... I get it wasn't and that sucks, but... it's not really your fault. You were lied to."

"So you don't hate me?" Sam asks.

"Honestly..." She starts making Sam panic at her small pause. "I don't think I could ever hate you." She says. Sam relaxes, his lips twitching upward, though he keeps it hidden.