Chapter 29

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Tw// sickness, mentions of suicide.





My eyes slowly opened. I was still in the library. Moon light shined in though the window landing on a row of books. I go to look for my phone but find nothing. I look around the room for a clock to check what time it is.

There's no clock so I still have no clue. I've had to of been asleep a whole day though cause the sun was rising when I fell asleep.

I hear a click from the door knob. It then proceeded to turn as the door slowly began to open. I stared for a moment wondering who could have been walking in.

My stomach is still cramping and making me want to vomit. My head still wants to explode. I was cold and not even my blanket could keep me warm.

A tall blonde poked his head around the door and walked in.   He stopped in his tracks when he saw me. As if his whole demeanor changed. He had no joy left. No smile. It was like his soul just left his body.

"I wasn't expecting you to be here, '' Tommy mumbled. I could tell he didn't want to talk to me.  " oh, I'm sorry I fell asleep here. '' I slowly got up and soon would pass out or collapse to the floor. 

I grabbed my fuzzy blanket and the book I was reading and walked toward the door. He walked around me to the window. "It's a quarter moon tonight, it's beautiful,"  I whispered.

" Not as beautiful as Y… " he stopped and sighed.

" as what" I questioned. " My streaming career" he quickly and angrily responded.  " oh, " a part of me wanted my name to be said. Yet half of me knew he would forever hate me from something I did before. I knew he just wanted me gone forever.

" Can you leave now?" he asked. It sounded like he was convincing himself more than asking me.

"Yeah" I put my hand on the door knob. My heart aches and I didn't want to leave. I had to leave  if it made him happy. If it made him happy I'd give him the universe.

" I'm sorry for anything I did in the past for you to hate me. I really am sorry. " I whispered and closed the door behind me. I didn't wanna go to my room. I wanted no part of it sometimes.

I decided I wanted to play a little Minecraft. so I traveled down to my office. I looked at my setup. Tears threatened to spill.

I sat down in my chair and scrolled through Twitter. The hate was more than it's ever been. All because I decided to yell at my friends. They're right though, I am I shity person.

I never deserved to have any of this. I just got mad lucky. Everyone's luck runs out eventually. I see that there are now news articles about my attempt. 

I continued  to go through social media seeing the mess I was left to clean.  Just sitting here is never going to get my career back. 

So being the dumb ass I am I hit go live.  200k people flooded in and more still joined.   I put a trigger warning  on the stream.  

"Hi chat" I couldn't keep up with my persona. It was all too overwhelming

" So as you know there is a lot of stuff going around. Not very good stuff. I've received a lot of hate and death threats. I just wanna clear some things up at this point." I stopped and took a sip of my water. 

" what Tommy said was true. I did try and kill my self. That's why everyone stopped streaming for a little while. It was because  they thought I was dead. You're all right I shouldn't have yelled at Tommy or anyone really." I slowly started to cry.

" They're all just trying to help and protect me. Trust me, I don't want them to go through this either. I never wished for my pain and suffering to land on them.  A lot of you are right it was selfish and stupid, but at the time I didn't have a way out.  I didn't have anything to live for." Tears slowly flowed down my face dripping onto my desk.

" So I'm sorry to everyone I've upset.
I'm sorry to you Chat, I'm sorry to all of my friends, Most importantly I'm sorry to my family that I couldn't save them when they needed me the most. No one deserves to go through all this pain all because I made a quick decision." My tone was sad and weak.

" I'm sorry Chat, This is a Goodbye for now. I'm gonna take a break from streaming. No more Dream SMP streams. No more fun three am streams. No streams with friends. So goodbye for now my killer bees. Keep on buzzing" I looked over at my viewer count seeing

700k people watching. I just broke a record in the worst possible way ever. Great another thing I just ripped away from tommy. I wiped my face and ended the live stream. I took the vod and uploaded it to YouTube ?

As fast as I could. I turn around to see Will standing in the door frame. His shoulders were slumped. His head hung low.  He looked up from his phone. I could hear my voice playing from it.

It was the stream delay before it ended. He walked over and pulled me into a hug. I hugged him back. He bent down and looked me in the eyes.

" Y/n you have nothing to be sorry for. You were hurting and it was half our fault. We ignored you and yelled at you. We belittled you and threw you to the side. If anything we should be the ones apologizing." I hugged him back and cried onto his shoulder.

He held onto me for dear life. I felt nothing but relief.

I had just gotten my older brother back.


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