Alone

•25•

Spencer

We'd left almost as soon as she was gone off the ship.

I'd known I would have wanted to go after her otherwise.

That had been four months ago now. And only today did I feel as though I could go clean out her cabin.

The second instepped into the room, my breath caught slightly. The atmosphere seemed to change. And for a moment, it almost felt like she was still here..

When I looked around, everything felt so much like her.

I don't understand why, it was just a normal cabin, nothing left that was hers was left.

Except..

Except what appeared to be a piece of paper on the desk. From where I stood I could tell there was something written or drawn on it.

I stepped over to it, taking the paper in my hand and looking to it. A beautiful sketch, done with a steady hand. It was a drawing of.. me. Of all people, she'd drawn me.

I turned the page in my hand, finding writing on the back.

Thank you, for what you have done, for what you have saved me from. Thank you for letting me go. Thank you for showing me some of the world, for I'm sure I won't get to see much of it once I'm back to Drewblack. I wish you the best.

                     -Lilah

I closed my eyes after reading the note a few times over.

I'd never forget her, no matter how hard I may try to.

I felt that oh too familiar ache as I sat on the edge of the bed, staring down at the paper.

She'd thanked me. After I was the reason she'd been stuck here, she'd thanked me for the ways I'd helped her.

I had friends here, I had my family in Ella and Will.

Yet I felt so utterly alone now. I'd never see her rolling her eyes at me when I'd tease her. I'd never see her blush at the lightest of touches.

I'd never get to see her again..

I'd never get to see her smile. Hear her laugh. Feel her touch.

I'd never get that.

Not that I deserved any of it. I didn't deserve to see that side of her.

Maybe one day I'd find love.

Love like Will and Emily have.

Maybe one day I wouldn't be alone.

Alone..

Eight months later

I thought about her almost daily.

Imagining how happy she probably was.

My fingers closed around the metal band that hung on a chain around my neck. I'd never taken it off.

By now she'd probably forgotten almost everything.

By now she was probably happy at home with her family.

By now she probably found someone to love..

And it hurt. It hurt to know she was happy, and that I wasn't a part of her happiness.

I'd yet to find my own happiness, for almost every moment was spent hoping she was happy, and safe. If I knew that those two things were true, I'd be content.