34. Smoke

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I flinch under the gaze of Silas and Ezra

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I flinch under the gaze of Silas and Ezra.

We're returning to Ohio today, which means hours to spend with those two in a bus or plane. Can't wait.

They're nudging me to come closer, but I duck away behind a trashcan. There may be wasps on it, but that's still better than them.

My professors are leaving on their own with a car in an hour, something I wished I could do too. I'd like to believe they wanted that too, but they were pretty distant this morning. That shouldn't of been, not after the great days we've had full of training and movies. 

Even playful Micah was gone. He just watched me pack my things with cold eyes and closed the door immediately when I walked through it. I can't deny it hurt, but I'm not giving up. They'll have to talk to me at some point anyway, I'll just stalk their house until they open it when we're back home.

I mean, they chose to be in a relationship with me. Now I'm invested, I will try my very best to keep it alive and kicking. They are chained to me, and I'll let them know it.

"Alright everyone, get the fuck in!"

I look up, seeing principal Stansley with an irritated look at the door of our bus. Everyone slowly rises and makes their way over to him. I race, trying to avoid sitting with his sons.

But I'm suddenly yanked back by my backpack, landing on the concrete. For one second, everything is in a white haze, but it crashes right back. The shadow of someone walking by crosses my eyes, but I'm too dazed to notice who it is.

"Ezra, Silas, get on. I don't have time for games now," Stansley sighs. They grin and run to him, from the other side of the bus. So it couldn't be them who just pushed me down the sidewalk.

The principal looks at me with a glare that speaks enough, and I have to run to get to the bus before the doors close.

And of fucking course, the only seat available is next to Silas.  My eyes travel through the whole bus, seeing one guy alone too. I give him a friendly, and slightly desperate, smile.

He cocks an eyebrow. Looks at the seat next to him. His bag is there, but come on. "It's clearly taken, loser. Go sit down somewhere else."

I flinch and nod, cursing myself and my stupidity. I shouldn't have assumed I would be welcome.

So I reluctantly sit down next to Silas, on the edge of my chair and ready to jump away from him. He smirks. "There he is. He finally decides to show up, the pussy."

"The only pussy you'll ever see—"

Okay, I admit. It wasn't very smart of me to say that, but choking me until I see black? That isn't very original, they've done it already. 

But I'm starting to gasp for breath, only a wheezing sound escapes me. So I use the technique Aiden taught me and I grab his wrist, only to pull it behind his back and let him bend. "I would appreciate it if I was left alone, okay?"

"Y-yeah," he stutters, clearly flabbergasted. I shrug and turn to my book. Sweet baby Jesus, because of my attention searchers the past two weeks, I haven't read any chapters at all. They're so high-maintenance, certainly Micah and Seb. It's a full-timejob, being their boyfriend.

Seriously? You're complaining?

I'm not.

Well— I'm not complaining. I'm simply stating a well-known fact, though I wouldn't change it for the world. 

I like all of them being needy. It makes me feel like not everyone would hate me at first sight. It makes me feel desired and safe at the same time. It's the best.

Six chapters and two elbows between my ribs later, we stop. I don't notice it at first, but after being pushed aside for Ezra and his friends to go through, I do. 

Everyone moves to the back of the bus to look at something. I feel little desire to go look, so I shrug and continue reading. It's probably some animal or something.

"Bro, how the fuck did that happen?"

"Are there any survivors?"

"Wait! I think I see Whitlock!"

Wait a fucking minute.

Survivors? Whitlock?

I jump up and push everyone away, trying to see what the hell happened. The sight knocks the breath out of my lungs.

Apparently they were driving behind us this whole time. Now their car is burning in the large flames, with little left to be seen of their car.

Aiden is coughing, ten feet away of the vehicle. I see Ada and Seb laying in the grass, seeming pretty okay too. Nerves take over. Where is Micah then? What if he's burning?

I pull away from the window and run to the doors, but they're still closed. No no no. I have to make sure they're okay. Stansley rolls his eyes and pushes the button, caring absolutely no fucks if he loses a student to a fire. 

Running towards them, I feel the adrenalin pumping in my veins. I believe I would jump in the car to try and save Micah.

The sound of a motor starting slows me down just a second. I look behind me to see the bus leaving, with only Silas and Ezra left at the back window. One wink of them later and they're gone too.

I turn back to the flames, which don't look quite as bad as from inside the bus. I look around. There's nothing I can use to stop the fire.

"Aaron?" Aiden coughs, stepping closer to me. I see his eyes are watery. I just nod. "You fucking idiot! It's just a smoke bomb, we'll be fine in five minutes. But now your ride is gone, huh? Tell me, what the fuck were you thinking getting off the bus in the first fucking place?"

I wince, suddenly at a loss of words. "M-Micah is still in the car, a-and I thought—" "Clearly, you're not used to thinking," he snaps and walks away. I bite my tongue to not burst into tears.

Where did his outburst come from? I was just trying to help.

I don't dare to turn around when Ada calls my name. Not when Seb does. And not when—surprise—Micah does when he appears from behind Seb.

I'm such a fucking idiot. They were all safe, but in my panic I didn't see that. I didn't realize they're much more mature than me and would have been fine without me.

"Let's go," Aiden grunts and gets back in the car, which seems to have stopped smoking and started working. It really was just a trick of the brothers Stansley.

I stay at the side of the road, hugging myself as I turn my back to the car. Aiden doesn't want me to join, that much is clear, so how should I get home? The school bus is probably already at the airport.

"Aaron, baby, come on," Ada's soft voice sounds. I sob and shake my head, but am not sure if she sees it. Maybe my head has slumped too much between my shoulders.

"Aaron, get in the car. Please," Seb adds. My shoulders tremble with a sob I desperately try to hold in. I don't want to cry because of every single thing. It's just . . . I trusted Aiden to not say such things. I trusted him and I was wrong to do so, like always.

"Aaron, get in the fucking car. Staying here would be even dumber than what you already did." "Aiden!" Ada gasps, with the others gasping too. 

I listen and get in, but only because I don't want to be a bigger disappointment than I already am. 

"I'm sorry," I whisper before putting in my earbuds and closing my eyes. If only it was to enjoy the music, and not because I don't want to see their faces right now.

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