Sex, Love and Hate (bxb)

Chapter 4

ALEXIE'S POV

I got back from the casino late last night but I still can't seem to get the events out of my head. Every time I try to forget about it, I remember what Grayson did and a wave of all-consuming anger boils my blood. It's all his fault. He tricked me into believing I could trust him and he tricked me into doing things with him. I wouldn't have done that if I was in my right mind. I know it's wrong. If only my father was here, he always knew how to help me see the truth. Yes, his methods were controversial but if my father never hit me after I did something or thought about something homosexual, I wouldn't know how disgusting and wrong it is.

I decide to take a shower to calm myself. I strip down and turn on the shower. I look at myself in the mirror while I wait for the water to heat up. I trace my eyes over my light skin. I can't help but to wish I had more muscle but on the other hand, I like that my stomach is flat and not disrupted by bumps and curves of muscle. My eyes continue up to my face when I notice red marks on my neck. I come closer to the mirror to realise the large number of hickeys scattered across my neck. I groan in annoyance at the constant reminder of what I was tricked into doing. But it was just a moment of weakness. It won't happen again.

After showering I feel more relaxed and honestly just tired. I lie on my bed, my hair still damp, ready to fall asleep. Just as I'm engulfed in warm blankets, my eyelids falling of their own accord, a loud knock sounds on my door. I groan and begrudgingly slip out of my bed, making my way over to the door.

"Who is it?" I ask, confused as to why someone is here so late.

No answer. Maybe just a ding dong ditch? I slowly open the door out of curiosity and to my surprise, standing at my apartment door is none other than Grayson Hale. I try to slam the door quickly but he grabs it with one hand just before it's fully closed. He reopens the door and enters without permission. I glare at him the best I can to show him how unpleased I am that he's here.

"How are you feeling?" he asks.

"How the fuck do you think I'm feeling?" I reply before walking further into my apartment.

"I'm sorry about what happened but I don't regret what I did." Grayson follows close behind.

"What are you doing here? Can't you just leave me alone?" I turn around and stand in front of him with my arms crossed tightly.

"No, I can't. I wanted to give you some time to accept what happened yesterday but I can't let you go now."

"What the fuck does that mean?"

"It means two things." He walks towards me and I walk backward until I hit the wall, "one: I've hoped you would somehow show up from the moment you left me. I thought I was being stupidly hopeful until you did show up. And now that I have you, I can't let go again, it's simply too hard." Grayson looks into my eyes before turning around, "and two: now that your little crew is in jail, there's the possibility they will give up your identity for a shorter sentence. I need to take you somewhere safe until all this blows over and I know you're not going to be arrested."

"Take me somewhere? Are you kidding? That's not going to happen."

I walk away from him and into my bedroom but he follows me.

"Please, Alexie, don't make this harder than it has to be," he pleads with me.

"For the last time, I told you not to call me that," I reply sharply.

"Why?"

"Because I-I don't want you to. It's too... feminine."

He sighs and leans against my door frame.